Pancake Day: Scene 18: The Crepes of Wrath:

The camera suddenly cuts to show another girls strapped to a metal chair by her wrists and ankles. This time its a beautiful Japanese girl, wearing a pink and white summer dress, with a matching pair of high heeled white ankle boots. Her hair is long and dark black, with the end tips dyed a bright blue. As she wakes up she suddenly becomes aware something is wrong.

Porcelain: Hello Mika. Its playtime.
Mika: What? What happened? Why am I here?
Porcelain: Oh Mika, you were missing out on the fun. You remember the fun your best friends Clarity and Megan had yesterday.
Mika: You! You did that to them!
Porcelain: Oh I didnt do anything. They did that to herself. They could have played my game, and then got up and left, but instead they chose to be covered in batter in front of the whole carnival.
Mika: Your going to cover me in batter?
Porcelain: Three times in a row! Ive already had my fun there. For you Ive put on a real crepe show.

A light comes on revealing more of Mikas surroundings. Shes in a large carnival tent, with a large curtain in front of her. Directly in front of her is a small round table, with 6 cakes arranged at regular intervals. In the centre of the table are 6 plastic yellow ducks. The most notable thing though is on the floor, where 50 frying pans have been positioned. Each frying pan is attached to some sort of spring loaded catapult device, and is aimed at Mika. In each frying pan is a large crepe pancake, topped with a messy topping like whipped cream, or chocolate, strawberry or maple syrup.
The camera cuts to a close up of one of the catapults as it suddenly goes off. Flinging its contents in Mikas direction. The camera then cuts to Mika as she is hit by 5 crepes in rapid succession, leaving her face covered in red strawberry syrup, one sides of her head dripping with both chocolate and maple syrup and her cleavage coated in whipped cream.

Mika: How the hell did I end up here?
Porcelain: Well I was watching you during your study session with Jason Dudley. I had no idea he was studying human anatomy. From what I saw you showed him quite a bit.
Mika: You creep!
Porcelain: Oh thats not nice. Especially to someone whos been so nice to you. I realised you were missing the fun of the carnival so I knew I just had to bring you here. When you left Jasons I hit you in the face with one of my chlorofoam pies. While you were out I brought you here. Now you can have fun with all these pancakes.
Mika: Thats sick.
Porcelain: What? You don’t want everyone to see you playing with my pancakes? Well how about you play hook a muck instead.

An annoying repetitive tune starts to play. On the table in front of Mika everything starts to turn around slowly as if on a large turntable.

Porcelain: All you have to do is find the six brass rings and pull on them, to light up all six of the ducks. Do this and your prize is your freedom. I’d hurry up though. You’ve not got long before that curtain drops, and everyone sees you get covered in all those sticky, gooey pancake toppings.

With that Porcelain grabs an hour glass, turns it over and puts it on the centre of the table, before she leaves. The camera cuts to a close up of the cakes, tracking them as they slowly rotate on the turntable. They all use chocolate sponge, half with chocolate icing, the other half with pink. They consist of an inch of sponge, followed by an inch thick layer of thick cupcake icing, that is covered by a second sponge layer, that is topped with a final layer of thick icing topped with various sprinkles and sugar shapes.
As the camera focuses on one of the chocolate cakes Mika’s face comes into view as she sticks her face in, wriggling her face, trying to break up as much of the cake as she can. As the turntable turns the cake turns out of Mika’s reach. The camera then cuts to a shot of Mika in the chair. Her face now coated with a thick sticky layer of icing. She gives her head a quick shake before going for another cupcake as it comes into reach. We get another close up of her face as she sticks it into the next cake, this time with pink icing. Again she slowly plunges her face in, trying to break the cake up, but her progress is slowed by the thickness of the icing. As she lifts her head a second time we see her give a gasp of exasperation, her face and some of her hair not only covered in icing but pieces of sponge cake and the sugar strands.
The camera cuts as the pink cupcake rotates out of reach, but we see the first cake is coming back round. She plunges her head into it, forcing her head down. The camera cuts up to her mess covered mouth us she finds a brass ring sticking up. She grasps it between her teeth, and a brief there’s the sound of a brief claxon plays as one of the six ducks lights up. Spurred on by her success she quickly dives into the other broken up cake as it comes back around, and this time quickly finds the ring and pulls it lighting up a second duck.
The camera quickly cuts to the hour glass, showing about half her time has gone. It then cuts to her bracing herself before attacking the next cake. She turns her head on it’s side, and places her head on the far side of the cake. She pushes down in a diagonal direction, pushing much of the cake aside, coating one side of her head in chocolate icing and sponge. This takes some force, but it’s enough to reveal the ring, which she manages to grab hold of just before it turns out of reach, lighting up a third duck.
Next she turns her head on it’s other side and attacks the next cake. Again she has to administer a fare amount of force, coating the other side of her face in pink icing, but allowing her to find the fourth ring, lighting up the fourth duck. Just as she starts to attack the fifth cake the camera cuts to the hour glass, as the last sand runs out. A loud siren blares out.

The camera cuts to outside, where a large crowd stop to see what the source of the noise is. The camera tracks to a large blue curtain that drops, revealing a still bound and struggling Mika, her head covered in cupcake icing. It looks like some of the crowd are going to step in and help, but as the camera closes in on Mika the first catapult fires, throwing a pancake and a large mound of whipped cream at Mika. This is quickly followed by a second pancake topped with maple syrup striking Mika in the face. A third pancake topped with sticky strawberry syrup strikes the top of her head, leaving thick red syrup dripping down her hair. A fourth pancake hits her on the right shoulder, coating it with whipped cream, then a fifth a sixth strike the left and right side of her head coating her in whipped cream and blueberry syrup.
The camera zooms out as the barrage of pancakes continues. Over the next minute the relentless barrage of pancakes continues, until it finally ends, allowing some members of the crowd to step in. While some try to remove the bounds on Mikas wrists others remove the pancakes now clinging to Mikas face, revealing her mess covered face underneath.

Next in the Series
By the same Author

About Black Opera

A WAM lover living on the South coast of England. As well as WAM I also use a lot of master/sub style bondage in a lot of my stories.
This entry was posted in Stories and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Pancake Day: Scene 18: The Crepes of Wrath:

  1. wolf324 says:

    Thanks for sharing – these have been a lot of fun to read so far. I love the premise! Certainly something a bit different, but I think you combined horror and WAM very nicely. I imagine getting the right tone might have been a bit challenging, but I think you’ve done an excellent job injecting just the right amount of drama and intensity, while still keeping it fun and silly. I don’t know if part of your inspiration might have come from The Slapstick Killers stuff, but these scenes certainly put me in mind of them, particularly with the Porcelain character.

    I really know nothing about writing script format, so I don’t want to get too much into any kind of critique or anything, but one thing that came to mind when reading it was that I felt like some of the dialogue could have been pepped up a bit, particularly when it comes to Porcelain. Sometimes her lines read to me as being a little stilted; there’s a few missing question marks in places for one thing, and while you don’t want to overuse exclamation marks, I think a few more here and there would help. She has quite a lot of quite short sentences too… I would suggest maybe throwing some conjunctions in, and even using punctuation (eg ellipses, dashes, semicolons) in places to give a bit more life/rhythm to what she’s saying. I’ll use the first two sentences of my review as an example. Imagine if I’d written it like this instead:

    “Thanks for sharing. These have been a lot of fun to read so far. I love the premise.”

    It reads much better with those two bits of punctuation I included, doesn’t it? I’m saying the same things, but I convey my enjoyment to you much more in the first version, I feel. Just a few simple changes like that I think would help get across the full force of Porcelain’s personality.

    That said, it’s a minor enough complaint. We’re here for the WAM content after all, and I really enjoy what you’re doing with these stories. I like the ‘all killer, no filler’ approach too!


    • Black Opera says:

      Thanks for the feedback. I’d never heard of the Slapstick Killers before, but I will be checking them out on you-tube now you’ve alerted me to them. The inspiration came mainly from my own love of horror films. I’d had talks before how pancake day was one of the few international calendar events not to have it’s own horror film, and bringing in the WAM twist seemed to work.
      To be honest I don’t know much about writing in script format myself, but I chose it because it helped me get round some of the problems I usually have writing from a third person perspective, by letting me refer to camera cuts to increase tension.
      I might go back and do a few revisions at some point. I did have less time than normal to revise things due to a few things going on in my own life, including getting ill earlier this week, which is why I’ve published two scenes some days in order to be ready for the planned finale to be published on Halloween.
      I’d be interested to know how other people interpret the Porcelain character, who has been one of my favourite characters to write for. I picture her as an adult with the mind-set of a psychotic seven year old, but it would be interesting to find out if that’s what everyone imagines.


↓ This is where you write something ↓

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s