Tank Talk Episode 7: Amy Schumer

 As always, the events in this story are purely fictional, any representations of the people in this story should not be taken as reality. This story is had been written purely for entertainment purposes. 

TT LOGO“Hello again and welcome back to Tank Talk, exclusively here on Youtube!” introduced Alice Levine, the host of the show. Today Alice was wearing a red and white patterned blouse and her red hair was tied into a loose ponytail. She stood in her usual position at the front of the small stage, just in front of the large blue framed perspex gunge tank. “I’m Alice Levine and this is the only show here on Youtube where I get to interview celebrity guests before subjecting them to a gunging here in this very tank.” She gestured to the gunge tank as she said this. Today the container above the tank had been filled with a mixture of green and blue sloppy gunge, which was arranged in several horizontal alternating stripes. “After last week’s al aspecial episode that saw Kate Upton having the dubious honour of being the first victim of our dunk tank, normal service resumes. However, we do have another American Blonde guest today, let’s meet her. Please welcome to the show actress and comedienne Amy Schumer!”

The camera panned around to the left where the Amy was just walking through the archway at the back of the set up onto the stage. She 24 Apr 2015, Los Angeles, California, USA --- NO JUST JARED USAGE Celebrities arrive at the 2015 CinemaCon Big Screen Achievement Awards. **NO DAILY MAIL SALES ** Pictured: Amy Schumer --- Image by © Splash News/Splash News/Corbiswas wearing a skin tight long sleeve black top that revealed part of her midriff. She wore a long matching black skirt that stretched down to just below her knees and finished the outfit off with a pair of black heels. Her light blonde hair was parted in the middle and was styled into loose curls, reaching part of the way down her back. She smiled nervously at the


camera as she walked onto the stage and over to Alice. Usually Amy had a bubbly personality and was often very enthusiastic about TV appearances, but today she appeared to be slightly nervous and apprehensive. She wryly smiled as she stared at the gunge tank and the slop that was suspended above it. She walked over to Alice, who greeted her with a hug before opening the gunge tank door and guiding Amy inside the booth. Amy sat down on the white stool that was positioned directly under the large nozzle on the roof of the tank, a feature that made the American even more apprehensive about the experience.

“So Amy, welcome to the show, how are you feeling right now?” asked Alice.

“Boy, that’s a lot of goop up there,” replied Amy in her American accent, looking upwards. “I hope it’s warm!”

“Sorry, I’m afraid we don’t have the budget to heat up the gunge!” joked Alice. Amy responded with a sigh. “Don’t worry too much, it could be worse, just look at what happened to poor Kate Upton last week.”

“Yeah, I saw that, how gross!” Replied Amy. “Wait, you aren’t going to surprise me with a dunk tank too, are you?”

“Well actually…” said Alice with a smirk. Amy looked worried suddenly. “Boys, bring it out!”

“No!” sighed Amy, putting her head in her hands. She actually believed Alice.

“Calm down Amy, I’m only joking!” Laughed Alice. Amy sighed with relief.

“Oh god! I thought you were serious for a minute there, you idiot!” moaned Amy. “Well actually, I suppose this isn’t much better than a dunking to be honest.” She looked up again at the tank of gunge suspended just inches above her head, ready to drop at the pull of a chain.

“Right, before we get to that part Amy, I have a few questions to ask…” said Alice, starting the interview. She asked the actress and comedienne about all of her projects and recent films. The conversation soon came around to Amy’s unique attempt at the ice bucket challenge last summer.

“I was watching your Ice Bucket Challenge video the other day, I must say well done for going above and beyond in the name of charity.” said Alice. “What made you choose to gunge yourself with the tin of whatever that was rather than just ice water?

“Thanks,” replied Amy with a smile. “It was freezing pouring that gloop over myself, but I bet the ice would’ve been colder. I like to be unique, I saw everyone posting videos of themselves dumping water over their heads and I thought to myself, how can I make mine different? I think I certainly achieved that by the sound of it.”

“You most certainly did, and hey, at least it prepared you a bit for what is about to happen!” said Alice. “I’m all out of questions, and I think you know what that means Amy. Any last words?”

“Oh already? Alright, let’s get this over with,” said Amy, sounding defeated. Alice got up from her seat and put two hands on the chain. Inside the tank, Amy took a deep breath and mentally prepared herself for what was about to happen. She kept her head straight, looking forward, trying to concentrate on keeping calm. “Here we go!” called out Alice as Amy heard a click from above her head.

Several streams of freezing cold green and blue gunge showered Amy from above, instantly attacking her blonde hair, flattening it to her head and covering it with a thick layer of slop. The American giggled nervously as the gunge streamed down her hair and poured into her top via her cleavage. She squirmed as the cold slime made contact with her skin. Gunge was now both inside and outside her shirt, making it cling to her skin and making her even more uncomfortable. Within moments her shirt had been covered in a similar way to her blonde hair, masking the black fabric with a thick layer of bluey-green slop. Amy slightly leaned backwards to try and reduce the amount of slime pouring onto the top of her head, but she only succeeded in allowing several streams to cascade down her face, covering her features in gunge. The slop poured off of her chin and into her lap, adding to the puddle that had already formed between her thighs. Some gunge had also found a way inside her skirt, sloshing around her underwear. This made Amy squirm in her seat as the gunge was freezing cold.

The multiple streams of gunge subsided after a full minute worth of action, allowing Amy time to breath and wipe her face. She started from her eyes and wiped downwards, cleaning most of her face but leaving some blue slime on the tip of her nose. She also ran one hand through the left side of her gunge saturated hair, leaving finger trails as she ran her fingers through the now matted mess that once resembled a neat hairstyle. Amy began to relax and looked up to see if there was any gunge left in the tank.

This turned out to be a very bad decision as she was greeted with a barrage of blue and green slime to the face. Screaming, she instantly moved her head back down. The multiple streams of gunge had now been replaced by one single column of gunge. The blue and green had merged together, forming a dark bluey-green colour. The cascading slop ricocheted off of the back of Amy’s neck and splattered the perspex sides of the tank. She raised her head again, looking forwards again and the deluge of slime began to dome off of the top of her head, splattering her shoulders and upper body with a more gunge. The dome eventually caved in and slime relentlessly poured down Amy’s face, covering it once again. Amy closed her eyes, opened her mouth and playfully stuck her tongue out at the camera. This didn’t last long as she soon swallowed some of the falling gunge. She instantly closed her mouth and coughed and spluttered, spitting out the slime that had entered her mouth. For the rest of the gunging, Amy sat perfectly still, letting the slime mercilessly wash over her body. The deluge eventually subsided after what felt like several hours to Amy but actually resembled mere minutes. A few last drops of slop dripped on top of Amy’s head as she wiped her face once more, again leaving a spot of gunge on the end of her nose. She slicked her hair back with both hands before flicking the excess slime off her fingers onto the floor.

“Wow, what a superb gunging Amy! Are you alright? You appeared to be in a spot of bother there mid gunging,” said Alice, still keeping her distance from the tank.

“I’m covered in goo!” laughed Amy, looking down at her ruined clothes. “And this stuff doesn’t taste very nice at all,”

“Well, you’ve been a terrific sport so we’re going to donate £500 to the charity of your choice,” replied Alice.

“Thanks so much for having me, I’ve had fun to be honest, It was great to be slimed… ,I mean gunged!” replied Amy.

“Thank you for taking part,” said Alice to Amy before turning to face the camera. “Now, that’s all we have time for today, don’t forget to subscribe here on Youtube to catch every episode of Tank Talk, you won’t find it anywhere else! I’ve been Alice Levine, be sure to tune in next week for another special episode of Tank Talk, you won’t want to miss it. No there won’t be a dunk tank, but we do have something else quite special planned. Until then, goodbye!” The camera panned out as the show ended, revealing Amy getting out of the tank and slowly walking off set, being handed several towels by assistants as she dripped gunge all over the floor. It was going to take more than a few small towels for her to get all the gunge off!

About TripleWAM

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8 Responses to Tank Talk Episode 7: Amy Schumer

  1. TripleWAM says:

    Reblogged this on TripleWAM's Blog and commented:

    The series continues with episode 7, this time featuring Amy Schumer!


  2. yuck53 says:

    Hooray! Wow you seemed to execute that one quickly.

    So that’s four to eleven to go now. I hope you at least get to do the fifteen or sixteen stories you said you initially planned.

    If you managed to do the full eighteen it would be brilliant. There’s such a broad field of victims already I suspect it can get even broader.


  3. wolf324 says:

    Nice! I like the increased sense of anxiety now that the celebrities are aware of the dunk tank. That said, it was still nice to go back to the good old reliable gunge tank for another quality messing. I cringed at Amy opening her mouth during the second sliming – not a good thing to be doing!

    Now I’m wondering what the next special episode will be. Looking forward to finding out.


  4. TripleWAM says:

    Thanks again for the great comments guys, it really does mean a lot 🙂

    However, I do have some bad news unfortunately. I’m afraid I’m going to have to take a break from this series, I just won’t have the time over the next few weeks to write new parts, which is a shame as I still have a long list of celebrities to feature. Hopefully I can get round to picking this series back up in the near future, but at the moment I just don’t have the time 😦

    But don’t worry, as soon as things slow down a bit and I have more free time, I will continue this series and get round to finishing it. The series has really been a joy to write and it was good to finally start a series and get past the first episode 🙂

    So in summary, I apologise, but for the foreseeable future there will be no more weekly installments of Tank Talk. I will finish the series at some point, but for the moment it’s gonna have to take a back seat. Thanks again to everyone who has commented on this series and everyone who has taken the time to read it. Hopefully I can still remain a somewhat active member of the community here.

    Oh, and Alice will get her comeuppance one day, she can’t avoid the gunge forever 😉


    • You say that Alice will get it eventually, but I said that about my character Nicki, and she’s only taken a bucket of water despite existing for over three years! What is it about ginger gunge show hosts and avoiding the gunge? 😛

      Still, a hiatus seems like as good a time as any to give my thoughts about the series. Let’s start with the good. The premise is interesting, as I believe has been pointed out before. There are plenty of call-backs to previous episodes, creating a strong continuity without it being too in-your-face. There are also a few nice twists on the formula occasionally, preventing the show from feeling too much like a retread (barring the one big problem I have). Also, the descriptions in this are top notch.

      So, the bad. I don’t always feel like some of the celebrities have much to offer in the way of personality, particularly in the earlier instalments. They mostly seemed to have the same sort of nervous at first, enjoy it in the end attitude. If it wasn’t for the pictures and the references to the guests’ bodies of work, there would only really be names to tell them apart for the most part. My recommendation for stories which I think nail different celebrity personalities (albeit some in a more comically-oriented way than others) would be TellyGunge’s Celebrity GYOB stories. Same gunging mechanism each time, but six very different gungees and thirteen distinct personalities, and they all feel right.

      I know that I’ve talked more about the one bad point than the multiple good points, but there’s not much I can really say on the good other than keep those parts good (which you probably will anyway). Like I said, it’s a series with an interesting premise and fantastic descriptive writing. It’s just the dialogue lets it down.


  5. yuck53 says:

    If VXS is going to give his negative points then I think I should too because I’m not sure I agree with what they are and, while it’s possible that neither of us are right or wrong, it may just be that one problem may be being read as another (I apologize for the length of this post, it may make the comments that follow look more negative than they actually are).

    Like VXS I struggled with the early stories and found then un-engaging from the get go even while I could tell all the details were highly proficient and impressive; and while I can’t know whether our idea of the earlier stories are the same it would be very telling if they were and that might be instructive for you to know.

    When I started one of my first thoughts was like, Vanilla, the personality and voice of the celebrities involved given that I had no idea who most of them were. You advised me to check them out on Youtube to learn which I continue to do, though I’m getting less and less sure that helped.

    Another thing that bothered me and I wondered if it was causing or contributing to my lack of ability to engage was that I found the whole concept most implausible. I try to ignore this because it’s the sort of concept I’ve been long looking forward to and I really wish it could be realized in the real world but the problem remains.

    I don’t want to go to far into this unless you want to hear more but my feeling is that because it seems that celebrity has turned into an industry today there is no way any serious celebrity would ever do this show prior to seeing proof it would definitely further there interests and for as little as a £500 donation to charity which I imagine you choose because you imagined it would be reasonable expenditure for a little budget show on Youtube. But the fact is, as I imagine, the industry would demand an appearance fee, and it wouldn’t be cheap.

    This concern bothered me for two episodes… and then evaporated on the third. The third episode I have very little trouble engaging with and once engaged I haven’t really struggled to engage since, I’ve enjoyed every episode without difficulty since.

    So what do I imagined happened in episode 3 that changed the trajectory of the series? My answer, you played ball. You introduced three different women and placed the outcome of the story on the result of a competition that the audience did not know.

    My feeling is that this introduced surprise to the series because it meant we, the audience, could read the story with genuine reason to engage with what was going on because we did not know what was going to happen.

    This wasn’t true in the first two stories where everything that happens follows directly on from the beginning, my belief is that there’s no reason to engage with the story because the details tend to have no bearing on what happens at the end.

    Of course, some people might hold that this is also true for stories 4-7, which it is but all those stories contain clear surprises in 4, 5 and 7 (7 is a direct repeat of 4) it’s in second part of mechanism which catches the victims unaware. In 6, of course, it’s the new trap and, in this case, Kate being caught unawares by the first half of the mechanism.

    Of course, that’s a theory but it fits the facts of my experience of reading the stories.

    I hope you will find time to return to these at some point though, like VXS, I fear you may not. The world appears to contain these sort of ‘invisible deadlines’, things that happen that take you away from finishing something that you previously believed you had as much time as you needed for and could finish at your own pace.

    Personally, I don’t mind too much if Alice gets away with it. I don’t know who she is and have never been compelled to find out, even while I can hear the resonance of the story clamoring for it.


  6. MCPridz says:

    can’t wait for this series to resume


  7. terroristpie says:

    When this series returns,please can you include Emeila Clark and Ariana Grande?


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