That “Where are the stories about her?” moment

So I was listening to an Ellie Goulding song earlier (I’m such a sell-out) and it got me wondering something. There are singers who appear a lot in messy fiction. Pixie Lott, The Saturdays, Taylor Swift and Hayley Williams all come to mind immediately. Whether or not I necessarily agree with those choices varies between each one, but it did get me wondering why Ellie Goulding doesn’t seem to have anywhere near the level of ubiquity of those eight other ladies. Sure, she’s not my type but I’ll admit she’s attractive. I’d also say she’s a well-known mainstream artist. The only things I’ve seen Ellie in on here are a NGYOB story, where she avoided the gunk at the expense of Pixie Lott, and the GGP which she obviously hasn’t won. I should point out that I’m not complaining about those outcomes, by the way. I’m just saying, I thought she’d have been in more stories than just the one where she doesn’t even get the main mess.

Another one is Paloma Faith, whom I actually considered as my Ms. P in the A-Z Series.  I’ve seen her on Buzzcocks a few times and she just strikes me as someone who’d be an absolute blast to put in a messy scenario. She’s kind of cute too and pretty well-known yet to my knowledge, there’s nothing out there.

It probably also goes without saying that a lot of the people I write about (Alissa White-Gluz, Charlotte Wessels, Lahannya, and my upcoming Ms. Q, for examples from the A-Z) I do because nobody else does. However, I do get why in those cases.

Does anyone else have any celebrities that they’ve not seen in many WAM stories (if any), even if they think they ought to be?

About VanillaXSlime

So I'm a WAM author (Suzi's Slop Drop, The Kayotics, The A-Z of Gunge II, Goo Your Own Way, miscellaneous other stuff), the administrator of, a fan of metal, punk and gothic music, an occasional cosplayer and bassist. Twitter: ECG: UMD:
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34 Responses to That “Where are the stories about her?” moment

  1. MCPridz says:

    Paloma Faith has a very annoying voice but as a person I don’t think she is very gungable and good point on Ellie Goulding maybe someone will write a story on here, and keeping with the music scene I haven’t seen Katy B feature promintely in a story


  2. Dampland says:

    I absolutely agree about Paloma Faith, she’d be an absolute revelation on GYOB, someone talented please write a story involving her soon!


    • MessySoMessy says:

      You know, I was considering Paloma Faith at one point but decided not to pursue as I couldn’t at the time think of a likely candidate, as well as thinking I might not be able to capture her well in writing. I haven’t forgotten her though, so I’m considering doing her and another celeb when I’ve done one or two more of the civilian NGYOB stories I’m working on. So unless I’m beaten to it, you may see one with her in the coming months!

      (Which btw, are coming, I’m actually on here tonight primarily to continue writing!)


  3. terroristpie says:

    I’ld like to see a few more storys on Nina Nesbitt my self


  4. manufan01 says:

    Here’s a mainstream name who I’d have thought would be a regular but in reality hardly features. Kelly Brook.

    Hardly ever appears in stories on here or elsewhere despite being widely considered one of the most well-known sex symbols in the UK.


  5. Katy Ashworth off Cbeebies ‘I can cook’. I’d love some off that eggs & flour to go astray.


  6. wamfan101 says:

    I’d like to see more with Little Mix, they seem up for a laugh. They were on a game with Matt Edmondson on radio 1 where the loser(s) got pied. Matt loss and the girls pied him, they seemed up for playing it so think they would be up for getting messy. I would particularly like to see more about Perrie Edwards!


  7. Pie-Pie says:

    You know what’s great about this thread? It acts almost like a requests page but at the same time, is focused on those that haven’t been covered (pun intended) in the past or at least haven’t received the attention they should’ve. I’m actually a big fan of WAM fiction, particularly when crafted by certain writers. Anyway, here’s a few of mine…

    – To start with, I’ll second BishopBerkley and Katy Ashworth – she works on a cooking show! The set-up is right there.

    – I might be alone on this one but Stacey Solomon is long over-due a story too. She received limited mess on I’m a Celebrity but goggles etc. the only difficulty would be trying to capture her speech in writing.

    – Here’s one I think Vanilla himself would perhaps agree with – Laura Marling! Her shy personality would really nail the humiliation side of things too.

    – Julie Bowen and Sarah Hyland : The Modern Family mother and daughter duo, is a fantasy of mine. No WAM fiction of them either together or individually, as far as I can tell.

    – Luisa Zissman: I’m still amazed she’s gone this long in the public eye without a story. She’s so accepting of stuff too – hell, she’d probably do a WAM shoot if she was paid enough! (Wishful thinking… )

    – Hayden Panettiere: Has avoided being the winner of the GGP three times (I think) coming close on each occasion. Other than a short KCA story on here, I don’t think there’s anything else.

    Anyway, that’s my input. Will be interesting to see what others continue to say too – I can’t believed there isn’t any Ellie Goulding fiction either!!


  8. TellyGunge says:

    Kate Thornton comes to mind as someone who has attracted surprisingly little attention. The only story I know of that features her is an episode of Gunge Nation, and in that she escaped clean. What with the missed opportunity of the farcical “world record gunging”, she really deserves a fictional makeover!

    Also, while Rachel Stevens has certainly been ‘done’ 😈 , there’s never been much attention directed towards Jo O’Meera, Tina Barrett and Hannah Spearritt…


  9. Pie-Pie says:

    Kate Thornton is a good shout! Which show attempted the world record gunging? You think that’d be pretty hard to mess up!

    I’ve always thought there is a lack of fiction as a whole on girls from TV soaps. Something I would write myself if I had the time, talent and inclination would be a series of stories encompassing women who have appeared in coronation street, past and present and write a WAM focused soap (not based on coronation street) with story lines and so on.


  10. Thanks to everyone for providing some great answers. Some that have been mentioned which I like:

    – I’m not actually that familiar with Laura Marling (or Chvrches for that matter), but it likely goes without saying that I can get behind seeing more singers and musicians from genres other than pop getting messed. This is leads me to…

    – Little Mix, who themselves are a good specific example of a wider idea which I think is underused: bandmates! Admittedly there are loads about The Saturdays (and my very own Kayotics if you count fictional bands), but as far as I can tell, that’s it. I’d go with Crucified Barbara or Evarose myself. Incidentally, I saw a good GYOB story featuring Perrie from Little Mix on ECG. It’s called “Get Your Own Back 2013: Celebrity Special”, and is in the Other Authors section.

    – Another general shout this time. I’m going to call back to another of Pie-Pie’s suggestions: the two people from Modern Family as a good example of co-stars of a TV show. There are a few out there for things like Community and How I Met Your Mother, but I think it’s an underused premise. My choice would be Beth Behrs and Kat Dennings of 2 Broke Girl$. I may even do an SSD of them eventually.

    – Katy Ashworth. I’m not familiar with many celebrity chefs, and the only female ones I can name off the top of my head are Delia Smith, Mary Berry and of course Nigella Lawson. A messy cookery show is a great premise (just look at some of those Cooking With Erno clips for an idea of how they could play out), but there just doesn’t seem to be many good subjects for such a story. Katy would work very well though!

    – Kelly Brook. Again, not someone I’d choose, but she seems so obvious (for lack of a better term) that I’m amazed she’s not actually been used much, if at all!

    Since this discussion is going so well, I’m going to start up another.


    • Pie-Pie says:

      Your spot on in saying that the co-star thing is under-used. In all TV shows there is the potential to take two members of the cast and play out some messy scenario, perhaps some kind of tit-for-tat food fight or something. As I said, Sarah Hyland and Julie Bowen is the one that gets me but you rightly identify there is plenty to choose from!


  11. amy tomlinson says:

    what about Rita Ora i think she is well over due for a gunging


  12. thewhitelady316 says:

    I’m surprised there aren’t many A-listers popping up in stories here. This may seem a bit odd from someone who styled themselves on writing ‘realistic’ wam fiction but if we’re going to let our imaginations go wild why stick to a few moderately popular singers and TV presenters? There’s only one story mentioning a minor and brief sliming for Natalie Portman here. I don’t think there’s only single story about Jennifer Lawrence, too. Does it just seem a bridge too far to imagine Oscar-winners getting slimed or does the popular TV-show format for many stories tend to make people think of TV-level gungees? It just seems a little odd to me that relatively minor celebrities seem more popular targets.

    Maybe now that my previous series is done I should try my hand at a celebrity sliming. Just not sure if it would be that popular here, and my grand finale only attracted one comment (sniff, sniff).


    • The lack of comments is probably nothing personal. I’ve noticed for a long time now that stories don’t get a lot of comments, good or bad, even if they get a lot of views.

      As for the lack of A-listers, I guess it depends on who people actually like. I for one don’t care for most A-listers, so I don’t tend to write about them. Why that doesn’t stop other people, I’m not sure though. Regardless, I’d love to see your attempt at celeb fic.


      • Pie-Pie says:

        I think I just don’t find many A-listers that attractive or at least not as attractive as some women you see on TV regularly and perhaps those who write feel the same. I’d much rather read about Caroline Flack, for example, than I would Jennifer Lawrence.

        Come to think about it…it is quite strange.


        • yuck53 says:

          I think there are a lot of reason’s for this and it probably has nothing to do with the A-lister being an A-lister or the author finding some a concept unrealistic afterall it’s their job to make the world of their story seem plausible.

          It’s more likely to do with the fact that “the A-list” is a rather artificial construct, I can’t imagine people tend to think of the standing of any given celebrity when writing WAM stories. The fact is these days there are a lot more celebrities than there are A-list celebrities, when encounter a lot more TV level celebrities, writers probably feel they can represent the lower level celebrities more accurately and there are statistically likely to be more standard celebrity stories than A-list ones if we’re not giving it any deliberate thought, I’m also not that sure how many celebrities I would call A-list or any other random person would call A-list actually are A-list. I’m dubious about Jennifer Lawrence who I’m not at all sure couldn’t go as quickly as she came, in theory. What are the actual criteria for identifying an A-list celebrity? I can’t help thinking that one of them will base your basic A-lister almost permanently in Hollywood on a film set.


    • A listers?

      Jennifer Lawrence – The GungeHer Games

      Kate Winslet – Pietanic

      Jennifer Aniston – Wet the Millers

      Emma Thompson – Gunge Actually

      Sorry, everybody. I just get an attack of the puns every now and then.


  13. MCPridz says:

    i would love to see a celebrity story as im not writing as much these days and there isn’t much celebirty wam being written i for one would be glad to see it and to answer your question on a-listers getting slimed they attend the KCA’s so could happen


  14. Pie-Pie says:

    I’m sorry to comment so many times on a thread in quick succession. I have an idea I’d like to put out there, not sure it’s any good but no harm in mentioning it I suppose and who knows – somebody may actually want to write it.

    Anyway, I’ve noticed that all celebrity stories on the site (I’m unaware of any exceptions really) are set in the present. That is to say, the most recent photos of a celebrity are found to describe there appearance and they usually appear on a new show etc

    I wanted to suggest what is essentially the idea of writing ‘time-travel’ (Bare with me…), especially in the sense of righting-wrongs. Rachel Stevens circa 2005 run off on Dick n Dom, Cat Deeley in her prime on SMTV never got any mess, Girls Aloud on Ministry of Mayhem way back then. I’m using some bad examples, so I’ll stop. Basically though, taking a scene of years ago, the celebrities as they appeared then and writing about it going a different way or just making something happen that never did? Even if it’s just a vote that this time ended differently….

    Or maybe it’s just the idea of writing about Sarah Michelle Gellar back in the height of her Buffy days or something.

    I dunno, I’ve kicked the ball. Just wanted to see where it rolls.


    • I’d love to do a period-based story sometime but like I said before, I have so much unfinished already. :/


    • pml89 says:

      I did have an idea once of doing this with the cast of Friends, taking part in the Ramp. Of course, I hit on the better idea to do the GGP winners, and got writers block doing that (it’s still coming, just slowly). I’d note a little point on the present thing: most stories are written ignoring any present issues. Many a GGP lady was pregnant at the time, yet still get nominated.

      In terms of what makes A-listers, it’s those people who the “random person on the street” has heard of. Most people will have heard of Jennifer Lawrence (who has got a story, she was letter J in the current A-Z), but they would not recognise a local radio host. The fastest way to A-list is Hollywood, TV or Music, simply because these forms of media go global.

      As for the original question, I’m not sure if there is anyone that’s sorely missing. Most of the ones we really want, either an author will write the story, or someone will request it (a little too enthusiastically in some cases, but still).


      • yuck53 says:

        Under that logic most UK news anchors are A-listers in their own country because if most people on the street don’t watch any other television they’ll watch the news.


        • If they’re just prominent in their home country, they’re not A-listers.


          • yuck53 says:

            Closer, but no one considers heroes of science and technology A-listers though they meet both the above criteria. And we tend to know at least some of our neighbors political leaders but we don’t consider them A-listers either.

            Apart from being in The Hunger Games, Jennifer Lawrence also made the news recently for questioning why people find humiliating other people funny and lecturing Miley Cyrus cross-media over her behaviour. That requires people know who Miley Cyrus is too but Miley Cyrus is not an A-lister. Twerking your way into the public consciousness does not an A-lister make. And most people over half her age tend to be otherwise clueless.


            • circushorse says:

              Even though I’m not big on celebrity stories myself, this is an interesting discussion.

              Narrowing down to just entertainers/socialites is too restrictive. People in entertainment have a distinct advantage, but not exclusive rights. What about someone like Steve Jobs? In terms of impact and recognition, when he was alive he’d have certainly qualified, right?

              There’s probably not one, universal A-list, unless it’s extremely inclusive or extremely small. It’s probably regional, with larger populations having more pull. The easiest metric for figuring out how ubiquitous someone is would probably be media coverage and the total number of people ‘aware’ of that person. So, whether or not we like it, Miley Cyrus is almost certainly an A-lister right now. But what about a time factor? If some one is an A-lister now, will they be next week? Is sustained popularity a requirement, because that could limit things severely.

              In the end, it’s probably just a vague concept used to refer to ill-defined boundaries, but it fun to think about hard rules to govern it. So anyway sorry for interjecting, and thanks for the food-for-thought.


              • TellyGunge says:

                Dunno about Steve Jobs, but there’s a famous video of Bill Gates getting pied 😉

                Seriously though, I get what you’re saying, and WAM stories involving “serious celebrities” like politicians and businesswomen is something I’d like to see more of.


                • yuck53 says:

                  I think I’ve got it now (though the actual list will still be up for debate). We’ve (society) forgotten what an A-lister is supposed to be it’s not just because they’re famous.
                  What I thinks happened is that we had film, then we had TV, then we had A-lists, then we had reality TV and then a bunch of journalists invented the cynical term Z-lister to define the sort of celebrities who you get on those programmes: supposedly desperate has-beans who everyone has forgotten about. We then defined A-lister backwards in our heads from this idea and ended up with something while not totally different not absolutely the same.

                  So the A-list is exactly that the A-list that might be compiled by your average person to make their average circumstances less average. Essentially they are the people who you would want to come to your party or your event because when you put their name on your invitations or your publicity it will make all the other average people flock to come to it. So Steve Jobs isn’t A-list because his area of expertise is highly specialized. He’s a must have for events in his field certainly, but that’s not an average event.

                  A-listers a the people you want to come to your event because everyone else imagines they’re exciting, and will be exciting to be around and will make the event exciting. Miley Cyrus therefore isn’t an A-lister because she might give the impression of being more trouble than she’s worth.

                  Of course that would make them the guest of honour and do you really want to gunge the VIP? 😉


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