Although this story mentions real persons, corporations, TV shows and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.
Also, despite the title, neither Tulisa nor Amy actually appear in this chapter. I’m experimenting with the format a little bit.
“Welcome back to this very impromptu Suzi’s Slop Drop,” Suzi said into a nearby camera. “We’ve got Tulisa and Amy MacDonald here, both eagerly awaiting the results of our little vote to see who’s going to get gunged. First though, we’ve got to see what the Slop Drop’s like this time.” On cue, she donned her reading glasses and opened the golden envelope that was on her lap. “Let’s see who might be going for the ‘test run’. Ahem…
I have a bit of a friendly rivalry with a fellow actress. We decided to have a popularity contest, only I later found out that her fans cheated to make me lose. I think we should get even and gunge her.
Yours sincerely, Kristen Stewart.”
Suzi was unimpressed at first, but managed to crack a smile. She then started to chuckle before breaking out into a hearty laugh. “Of course! I thought there was something up with that! Ladies and gentlemen, let’s re-welcome Kristen Stewart and Emma Watson!” Kristen walked out first, followed immediately by Emma. “Hey gals, it’s good to see you again. So Kristen, I totally get why you’d want to get even with Emma after that.”
“Ah ah ah! I get it!” Suzi interrupted. Trying to suppress the memories of what Alex did was beginning to get to her and being constantly reminded wasn’t helping in the slightest. Still, this was her chance to show that she was still able to be a competent host for the show. “Yeah, I hope to show people just what happens when you try and mess with my show.”
Kristen cringed slightly. “Was that a deliberate pun?”
“Mess with your show?”
Suzi went embarrassedly quiet for a moment. “So Emma, what’s your argument for not getting gunged?”
Suzi sighed deeply and thought about how best to handle the situation. “Well, I do remember Mr. ‘Nilla pointing out how strange the number of votes was, and that it had been swinging wildly. There’s been vote rigging on both sides from the looks of it. With that in mind, I don’t feel right gunging just Emma.”
Emma looked a little bit relieved that she wouldn’t get it on her own, but still felt nervous about the whole thing. “So you’re going to put both of us in the drop?”
“Not exactly,” Suzi chuckled. “Kristen got dunked last time, so only you will go in the drop this time. We’ll give Kristen a smaller gunging somehow.”
“Alright then,” Kristen said.
Suzi was a bit taken aback by Kristen’s understated reaction, taking a few very awkward seconds to move the show on. “So, let’s reveal the drop.” The back of the stage opened up, as usual, revealing the gunge mechanism. This time it was a small pod with a couple of seats (probably put there as a contingency measure in case of a tie). The pod was attached to a huge metal arm about 17 metres long with a counterweight at one end, with a support structure about 10 metres high. Thank goodness the studio was of a considerable height!
Beneath the structure was a large pit of purple sludge with a walkway leading to the seating pod. One thing Suzi noticed was a set of clear plastic tubes going from the pod into the middle of the support structure, in turn leading to a large tank of gunge poised above a control panel. Suzi walked Emma and Kristen over to the walkway. “This is the Spinning Arm Slop Drop. Emma, you’re going to take a seat in the pod and get spun around. When the ride ends, you will disembark. You won’t just get off the ride; you will be dropped down into the pit.”
Emma gulped nervously. “Is it just me in the pod? There are two seats.”
“Please save questions for when I’m finished with the autocue,” Suzi said dismissively, turning her attention to Kristen. “As for you, you will get to do the actual dropping. All you have to do is press the drop button.”
“Alright,” Kristen said, walking over to the rather minimalist control panel. “So I just press the button when it’s time?”
Suzi nodded. “I’ll let you know when that is, don’t worry. As for Emma’s question, I suppose I could pick someone from the audience.”
The audience cheered stridently. Some of them stood up and waved, trying to get Suzi’s attention. However, her interest was caught by a shy girl on the front girl who had her right hand in the air. She looked a bit nervous about the possibility of being picked as she was looking away from the stage, hiding herself in her long, jet black hair. Her skin was a fine white, almost like sugar. Her eyes, shimmering blue. Suzi walked over to her and grabbed her wrist with eager abandon. “M-me?” the girl said, quietly. “Are you really picking me?”
“Of course,” Suzi said, pulling the girl out of the crowd and walking her to the stage. “So what’s your name, sweetie?”
“Natasha,” the girl answered quietly, flicking one of her bangs out of her eyes. On the stage, Suzi could really see Natasha’s outfit: a red camisole, black miniskirt and combat boots. “Are you really going to gunge me?” Suzi nodded again. Natasha smiled brightly and took her boots off, followed by the black socks she had on underneath.
Suzi felt a strange sense of relief, as if she’d gotten the impression that Natasha didn’t really want to do it before. “You seem more into it than I thought when I saw you. Now Emma and Natasha, go get your seats in the pod.”
Emma kicked her shoes off and walked over the walkway, with Natasha following behind. The two sat down on the chairs, back to back, with restraints coming down to secure them in place. The walkway moved back and the pod closed, trapping Emma and Natasha in a Perspex bubble. The pod began to swing slowly, rocking back and forth gently from the momentum of the slow swinging.
Gradually the swinging began to pick up pace and each swing became wider. With it, the tilting became more severe. Still, Suzi had promised something which hadn’t come yet – gunge. The situation soon corrected itself as purple slime surged through the tubes connected to the top of the pod and billowed out, dousing Emma and Natasha’s hair into sticky purple streaks. With their arms held in place by the safety bars, they couldn’t do anything to stop it going into their faces, which made Emma scream and Natasha giggle. She licked her lips and muttered “tastes like blackcurrants”.
Most of the gunge, however, missed Emma and Natasha entirely and pooled around the bottom of the pod. Normally this would be a design flaw but for the Spinning Arm, it was a design choice. As the arm and pod swang around, the gunge was thrown all around, splashing Emma and Natasha from all angles. Eventually enough momentum was built up that the pod was flipping through full circles, completely covering them wherever they were exposed. The arm too was beginning to make full rotations in a clockwise direction, flipping the two girls around and spinning the pod around. Inside Emma was shouting for the ride to stop out of mock-terror, which Natasha found a little bit amusing. Being spun around and splattered with gunge which would be on the wall one moment then the floor the next was fun, especially when the point defined as wall, floor and ceiling was constantly shifting. Perhaps that’s why Emma wanted an end to the ride – so she could at least tell what was what.
Luckily for her, the ride was coming to its end and slowing down. After a few slow spins, the arm was gently rocking back and forth once more. “Now, Kristen!” Suzi called out as it stopped. Kristen hit the button in front of her and a klaxon sounded, opening the tank of gunge above the control panel and dropping a large batch of purple goo onto Kristen’s head. Kristen didn’t seem to be at all bothered by the gunge at all, or maybe she was just a little emotionally stunted, but either way she didn’t react much. She just giggled a little as it coursed through her long, brown hair and all over her t-shirt.
The pod split open down the middle and the two halves opened upwards, the chairs tilting downwards and releasing their occupants. Emma and Natasha fell down into the gunge pit with a large splash. Covered top-to-toe, the girls finally got a chance to look at each other. Natasha started to laugh quietly, enjoying the sight of the high-profile celeb with ruined hair, ruined makeup and a ruined dress. Emma looked very annoyed by comparison, with the key word being looked. Deep down she’d rather enjoyed the ride, but wasn’t about to let anyone know that.
Suzi walked onto the stage. “Normally at this point we would do a quick talk with our gungees and nominees along with an update on the results but apparently, we’re not doing that anymore,” she explained to the viewers. “Instead, we’re going to take a break, fish Emma and Natasha out of the pool and do all that in Part 3, where we’ll see who else is going on that ride – pop princess Tulisa or indie chick Amy MacDonald. For now though, let that be a warning to anyone who tries to mess up my show again! The consequences will not be pretty, especially after I have my merry way! See you in a few!” she snarled as the show cut to commercial.