Suzi’s Slop Drop Episode 5 Part 1

I deleted my last story since I didn’t think it was up to my usual standards. As for the lack-of-ending of the previous SSD, I didn’t feel right writing about one of the stars of a movie which, when it opened in Colorado, was the site of a mass murder. Something like that has a massive “elephant in the room” air to it; one which I do not feel should be addressed in a story of the nature of SSD. My condolences go out to everyone affected by the tragic events in Aurora.

But enough downers! Let’s try and enjoy the over 2800-word-long Suzi’s Slop Drop Episode 5 Part 1, in which I alter the format a little.

Disclaimer: This story is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events. In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

“Suzi, tonight’s gungees for part two would like to talk to you now,” Suzi’s personal assistant Rosa said. Rosa was a rather young and energetic girl, only 23 years old. She had long, wavy blonde hair and wore a white shirt with matching black jacket, pencil skirt and dress shoes. Her eyes were a deep brown.

Suzi was quite puzzled by Rosa’s announcement. “They already know they’re going to be up for it?”

Rosa nodded vigorously. “Of course, didn’t you get the message I sent you?”

“What message?”

Rosa sighed. “Failed delivery… Oh well, ‘Nilla has been in talks with two ladies who run restaurants and cafés. They’re apparently opening up something very unusual in town. ‘Nilla said that he’d be willing to do some cross-promotion, which is why you’ve been asked to give an on-stage interview with them. First though you should go talk to them. They’re waiting in the green room.”


Suzi arrived at the inaccurately-titled green room and entered. It was unusually busy, generally only holding the two celeb guests for the episode, plus a few friends or family of said guests. Suzi looked around and noticed at least ten people there. “Let’s see, who looks like they could be a restaurateur… Ah, no. Those two people are the athletes… And they’re the music representatives… Oh, I think that might be them,” she thought.

Eventually she spotted two very rich-looking women talking in one corner. One of them had ornate blonde curls, bright green eyes, almost porcelain-white skin and a youthful face which made her look like she was barely out of her teens. The other was older-looking and appeared to be Japanese, though Suzi was purely guessing having only met two Japanese people before. Technically not even that, in fact – Yumiko from The Kayotics was only half-Japanese, after all. Still, this one looked to be in her late twenties and had shoulder-length black hair, which ran straight down.

“Ah, mademoiselle Suzanna!” the blonde called out. Her accent was a rather thick French one, which wasn’t made any more comprehensible by her smatterings of random French words. Suzi walked over and noticed the blonde was very over-dressed for the occasion, wearing pearls, a white silk dress and white stilettos. Her friend was wearing a black cocktail dress and flats. “Salut! I am Fifi Dufour and zis is my associé, Natsuki Saito.”

Suzi sat down, adjusting the waistline on her deep blue shorts. “Hey there. Mind if I ask what’s going on?”

“Allow me to explain,” Natsuki said, quietly. “Fifi and I are business partners. We own various chains of restaurants, cafés, coffee houses, gastro-pubs… Basically, you name a kind of eatery, we’ve probably managed them.”

“Sounds like good work to have. What’s that got to do with the show though?” Suzi asked.

Natsuki continued with her explanation. “I’m from Tokyo, and back in Japan there’s a wide bank of clientele who will pay good money to eat pocky, drink tea and socialise among others with similar interests.”

“You know of les otakus, oui?” Fifi interjected.

Suzi chuckled and nodded. “Japanese cartoon fans, yeah? We had a couple of them on the show once. Nice people, kinda kooky.”

“Right. I made my initial fortunes running cafés with… otaku, as Fifi put it, in mind. Since then I branched out into other niche markets. Sports bars, music cafés, eateries based on those found in countries such as France, America, Italy and England, all sorts. If there was a niche, I would cater to it,” Natsuki recalled.

“Zat is ‘ow Natsuki encountered me. She worked avec moi to create new high-class dining in Japan, knowing my success across le monde,” Fifi added.

“Fascinating, honestly, but what does your backstory have to do avec mon émission de télévision… Oh, now I’m doing it!” Suzi sighed.

Fifi giggled. “I grew tired of ze same old ‘igh-class clientele. Natsuki and I wanted to try somezing nouveau. Somezing zat ‘ad never been tried before.”

“A WAM Café,” Natsuki stated, cutting to the point. For the first time she seemed excited.

Suzi found the contrasting personalities at work rather amusing, but was keeping it to herself. Fifi came across to her as a bit of an airhead but with a good business mind. After all, she was self-made, apparently. Natsuki was much more quiet and aloof, probably the right sort of person to keep Fifi in line. Still, she seemed to perk up when she finally got to say what the project was. “A WAM Café? As in a wet and messy fetish café?”

Natsuki’s eyes widened. “Exactly! It’s a café where customers can do whatever they want with the food. Eat it, wear it… Maybe throw it at their partner or whatever. It’s a dedicated public venue for sploshing.”

“That sounds… well, it sounds kinda bizarre to be frank,” Suzi frowned.

Fifi looked at Suzi with intense contempt. “You are in no position to be judging les fétiches, Mademoiselle Suzanna!”

“I’m not,” Suzi sighed, recalling just how deeply she’d been researching gunge since taking the job of presenting the show. “It’s just that cafés that, if you’ll excuse the term, cater to people with certain perversions aren’t really… well, a thing.”

Natsuki chuckled at Suzi’s naïveté. “I should take you to one of my maid cafés. Still, it’s a shame you don’t like it. ‘Nilla paid through the nose to get us on tonight.”

“Oh, I never said I didn’t like it,” Suzi grinned. She then saw the clock ticking in the corner of the green room. “We should hurry this up. So what are we doing? Interview then the drop test?”

“Oui. Je ne sais pas what Natsuki thinks, but I’m a little nervous about getting messy myself,” Fifi said, smiling a little.

Natsuki nodded in agreement. “Didn’t you do something similar, Suzi-san? I remember seeing those posters of you covered in gunge before the series started.”

“Ah yeah, my first time. To be honest, I hated the feeling of slime on my skin. I still do but I’ve been gunged so much now I don’t really care anymore,” Suzi sighed. “Still, I never get tired of gunging people. Which I really must be doing the set-up for any minute. See you gals on-stage later.”

“Bye-bye,” Natsuki said, waving as Suzi walked off.

“Sayonara, au revoir!” Fifi called.

“Sayonara?” Natsuki whispered to Fifi after Suzi had gone.

Fifi giggled. “You don’t seem to speak your langue maternelle, so atashi must.”

“That’s because we’re in England, Fifi-chan,” Natsuki sighed.


Clad in the aforementioned blue shorts, a white tank top and flip-flops, Suzi stood on the side of the stage, mic in hand, ready to start the show. The familiar routine of rolling cameras and Suzi walking onto the stage began, with Suzi introducing the show as she entered. “Hi, I’m Suzi Harrison and welcome to my Slop Drop. Now, this week is very unusual since, as you can see, we’ve got an extra sofa,” she pointed out, referring to the stage. As usual there was the guests’ sofa and her individual sofa, but there was one extra sofa across from the normal one. “We’ve got four guests on tonight and we’ll be dropping two of them. Normally a double drop is reserved for a tie situation, but tonight we’re upping it a bit since we’ve got two people on who want revenge on a larger community,” Suzi explained. “In another change from the norm, we’re not going to reveal who’s up for the drop until Part 2, which is also when voting will commence.  All is not lost, however! For the first time ever, we’re going to do the test run first.”

The audience had begun to worry as Suzi described all the changes that week but were now cheering and chanting “Test run! Test run! Test run!”

Suzi gestured for the crowd to calm down and began the introduction. “Well, let’s meet tonight’s first gungees. We’ve got two giantesses of the catering world, despite neither being more than 5 feet tall. Ladies and gentlemen, Fifi Dufour and Natsuki Saito!” Fifi and Nastuki walked onto the stage, each of them sitting on one of the sofas on each side of Suzi. “Fifi, Natsuki, you came here to do something we’ve never done on the Slop Drop before – an interview.”

“Oui, we’ve got somezing to talk about zat your viewers may find interesting,” Fifi said.

Suzi nodded. “We talked about it in the green room, but would you mind telling our friends in the audience and at home what it is?”

Natsuki explained the premise of their new restaurant, about how she had the idea of appealing to a new niche market and where and when it was opening. “That’s four weeks time in Mudford. We’ve got something of a party going on to mark the occasion, with local girl band The Kayotics headlining.”

“Small world! That’s my hometown and my friend’s band. I might have to bring myself down,” Suzi smirked, quite amazed that she hadn’t heard anything about it. Maybe Michelle was hiding more from her than she thought.

“We could do with a compere,” Natsuki pointed out.

“I could start by introducing tonight’s Slop Drop,” Suzi said as the back of the stage opened up, revealing a large machine with a pair of conveyor belts running in parallel through it. The machine had two large hatches at the back which were right above two chutes, which led down to a pit of thick, bubbling grey gunge. “This is the Production Line Slop Drop. You lay on your backs, each of you on the conveyor belts. It starts up and you finish off in the pit, covered in all kinds of muck.”

Fifi shuddered. “Quelle horreur! You are wanting Mademoiselle Natsuki and myself to try this, oui?”

“Of course! If you can’t take it, it’s not fair for you to dish out gungings,” Suzi winked. Pouting childishly, Fifi kicked her stilettos off and padded over to the conveyor belts. Natsuki was far calmer in her approach to the conveyors, simply walking over then removing her shoes. “Alright gals, lie down on the belts on your backs, feet first. I’m gonna head up and kick this mother into life.” As Suzi promised she clambered up a ladder to a large control panel. She pressed a few buttons and some exaggerated whirring noises came out of the machine.

The belts started to move, carrying Natsuki and Fifi into the machine, where they were sprayed with ice-cold water. Fifi quickly established herself as a squealer and writhed around as her dress was soaked through. Natsuki was trying to look dignified as she was drenched. Not difficult, of course – her dress wasn’t becoming translucent as it was soaked thanks to the colour, unlike Fifi’s. She was also trying not to react as much. Once they were past the water jets they had a brief chance to see each other. “Nice undies,” Natsuki snarked.

Fifi looked at her body. The water had left her dress see-through, exposing her matching frilly pink bra and panties. “Je suis sure zat we will be soon covered again,” she shivered. She was right – the belts stopped and the sound of something metallic tipping over resonated through the air. From Fifi’s left and Natsuki’s right, two deluges of warm gravy surged over them. Fifi opened her mouth to squeal again but wasn’t able to. Instead she made some strange gurgling sound as the gravy went everywhere, including into her mouth. Once it had ceased she swallowed. “Not bad. Though, look at my dress! Il est ruiné!”

“Mine’s pretty bad too,”Natsuki sighed, the dramatic personality of Fifi beginning to get to her. Like Fifi, she too was covered top-to-toe with water and gravy, her carefully crafted hairdo now a spread-out mess. Worse yet, it still wasn’t over! The conveyor belt still had one more stop to go. Natsuki and Fifi were carried along for another few seconds, the gravy beginning to really sink in.

Once it stopped a pair of large hoppers moved into position above their heads. Instinctively they both cringed. Fifi considered covering her face with her hands but decided not to – that would be unsporting. There was a click as the hopper opened, dropping a lemon meringue pie into each of the girl’s faces. It closed quickly and moved down to their chests, splattering them this time with a key lime pie. With each hit, Fifi was letting out an exaggerated “mmph!” noise while Natsuki had a perfect poker face, being completely unreadable through the cream and the look of sheer neutrality she had underneath. Perhaps she didn’t hate it as much as neither she nor anyone else had thought she would.

The third pie, a Mississippi Mud Pie, descended quickly on their waists, staining Natsuki and Fifi’s dresses with white and brown. “Now that’s definitely going to stain,” Natsuki sighed under Fifi’s muffled cries. Fourth came an apple pie on their legs and finally, their feet were buried in a simple custard pie. Both girls were a colourful mess of white on the top, brown underneath and various other colours spread all over. Fifi hated it as much as she was letting on – considerably.

Natsuki wasn’t so clear. As they were carried to the end of the machine she got around to thinking that maybe the whole WAM Café idea was more of a selfish venture than she’d ever let on. By all rights she should be hating this experience of getting messy – her clothes would need replacing, her hair restyling and she’d wasted a lot of make-up. Furthermore she knew just how unpleasant the whole thing should feel. Japan’s wet season was often relentless and anyone caught out during it without waterproofs and an umbrella would regret it for about a week. And to some extent, she felt it. Certainly she felt humiliated to be experiencing this in front of an audience of tens upon thousands.

The doors at the end of the machine opened up and the two girls were dumped onto the metal chutes at the end. The accumulated mess made a perfect lubricant as they were sent down the chutes at terrific speed, Fifi once again screaming as she descended and Natsuki loudly “WHOO”-ing. If nothing else, this part was fun.

Splat! A moment later their messy task was over and both girls were buried in green gunge. When she’d surfaced, Fifi looked ready to start crying. She probably would have if it weren’t for the cameras. For now she’d hold it in and then wail to Natsuki later.

Would she though? Natsuki’s reaction couldn’t be different. Once again her face was unreadable, not just through all the mess but the fact she was hiding her feelings behind her unreadable visage.


Not anymore! Yes, Natsuki knew she shouldn’t be enjoying herself but dammit, she was! So what if she’d need to replace her clothes, redo her hair and get more makeup? It wasn’t like she was short on cash. Besides, none of that mattered to her. For ages she’d been the serious businesswoman who acted as the straight man to the silly Fifi. Joyless, lifeless, plain. All things she’d been feeling for a while. Now though? She’d actually cracked a smile and, even under the pies, the gravy, the gunge, it was beautiful. She couldn’t resist doing so, since for the first time in a long time she actually felt content. No, not the right word at all. She was happy! She was having fun! This is why she wanted to make the WAM Café – because she wanted to make something fun! She started to giggle and throw gunge at Fifi.

“Natsuki! Ce qui ne va pas avec toi?!” Fifi asked as she tried to block Natsuki’s slime. What the point of that was when she was already completely covered was beyond her. Probably just an impulse or something…

“The only thing wrong is that I’ve not felt this alive in years!” Natsuki laughed. “Fifi-chan, we are going to make this café the best one ever starting as soon as we get out of this gunge!”

“Eh?!” Fifi couldn’t comprehend Natsuki’s behaviour or sudden shift in personality. “You enjoy zis?”

Natsuki tackled Fifi and dragged her under the gunge, ripped Fifi’s dress off and resurfaced. “Why do you think I suggested we do the café? I’ve just wanted to come loose and do something crazy like this for ages!”

Natsuki’s awakening and rebirth was soon interrupted by Suzi’s return. “Well, I don’t think I’ll need to ask those two what they thought of that! Go to the website on-screen to find out the La Torte Splosh Café, then join us in part two where we’ll find out who else will be going through the conveyor belt.”

About VanillaXSlime

So I'm a WAM author (Suzi's Slop Drop, The Kayotics, The A-Z of Gunge II, Goo Your Own Way, miscellaneous other stuff), the administrator of, a fan of metal, punk and gothic music, an occasional cosplayer and bassist. Twitter: ECG: UMD:
This entry was posted in Feet, Food (fights), Gunge, Pies. Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to Suzi’s Slop Drop Episode 5 Part 1

  1. yuck53 says:

    Why am I slightly sad?
    I almost hate this which wasn’t a reaction I expected to get to a SSD. That girl is infuriating and all I feel is sorry for her. This just seems so wrong, stride breaking seems to have affected either your writing or my reading more than expected. So I think the lesson here is that the best way to keep up the good work is to keep the good work up. ;..
    Was that last story a Top Of The Slops story? You said you were going to leave SSD for a time after the last in order to return to that as I recall.


  2. yuck53 says:

    Oh, I shouldn’t post when I’m miserable. I write especially bad posts. Sorry for the above.


    • VanillaXSlime says:

      Your opinions are your own but I don’t get it. Why exactly do you hate it?


      • yuck53 says:

        Ah, I wish I could explain better then there would be a constructive response possible. Without it… It’s why I said I almost hate it, it still has some OK, moments in it. It’s also why i wish I had done it better.
        The pigeon French definitely was among the first things I reacted to. I makes Fifi infuriating which I’m sure is a gag but also means I have to disengage with the story to think about what she’s meant to be saying and that gets tiresome.
        And then you give us a WAM Cafe. A WAM Cafe, really?
        You said “fetish” which probably didn’t help. WAM is a fine word in many ways but it has problematic associations which probably explain why WAMtube didn’t last.
        As soon as you reduce it to the fetish you make it taboo and that’s the quickest way to alienate a LOT of people, on SSD it’s done always been done as a game as it normally is when these these happen on TV, fetishist can find that part themselves and I was rather surprised that SSD was prepared to risk making parts of it’s audience uncomfortable by making them aware other people don’t see this as “innocently” as they do.
        I also have realized there are issues I have with the business model of the WAM cafe but I’ll only explain these if asked because I’m not sure whether they affected my reading at the time.
        And then you humiliated Fifi, which is a problem because that doesn’t sell it well, Natsuki’s reaction doesn’t make anything better because she seems to have just browbeaten the girl into doing something she isn’t keen on which is worrying. And surprising given earlier things
        Fortunately I can try to reassure myself on that part by knowing this isn’t the end of the story and I expect it to develop and may well improve.
        I’m also not sure I have read all that correctly I’m medicating and my concentration is off.
        I i magin my e that was it reverse deconstruction doesn’t always work.


        • VanillaXSlime says:

          Great, I’m in a particularly foul mood now. I’ll prepare a rebuttal but for now I’ll just ask this: Aside from a ridiculous amount of negativity and frustration for everyone else, what the fuck do you contribute to this community exactly?


        • byronmcsteele says:

          I’m with Yuck, I always find my suspension of disbelief ruined by the implausible viability of the television programmes and businesses depicted in WAM fiction.

          I’ve pretty much given up on Summer School because the school appears to have almost no educational basis, and I think we’re all concerned about how Gunge Nation is allowed to stay on the air despite the apparently extreme plumbing issues with the studio.


          • TellyGunge says:

            My sarcasm-dar was already flashing before I read the below, but as it happens the Pupils of Summer School do undergo a rigorous program of academic tuition. Lessons take up most of the daytime, except for Wednesday and Saturday afternoons which are for games, and Sundays which are for recreation (usually Emma’s rather than their own).


        • VanillaXSlime says:

          All I’m going to say on the matter is this: I clearly missed the law that stated that escapist fantasy had to be realistic.


          • byronmcsteele says:

            Sigh – I really should have learned not to use sarcasm on the internet by now.

            Sorry if you took any offense Vanilla, I was being deliberately absurd because I never imagined I’d end up reading a critique of a story that involved discussion of the business model of a fictional WAM cafe.


            • byronmcsteele says:

              Or that I’d ever critique somebody’s critique of a WAM story, for that matter.


            • VanillaXSlime says:

              It’s alright. Whether you like or hate my writing doesn’t matter, it’s your opinion. However, if someone has an issue with my works I like to know why and frankly, I don’t agree with Yuck’s reasoning or the way he’s presented it.

              Still, there are ways of denoting sarcasm. HTML-esque tagging, Twitter-style hashtags or just the classic emoticon work well.


              • yuck53 says:

                Yes, that would probably because what seem to have done is to list all the causes and then write an apologist conclusion that questions them instead of one that explains their effects in the context of my reading. I have been away and taken some time to try and come up with a better response to what people responded and explain what I actually meant. But I must always remind you that I was rather dehydrated while reading the story and writing the response which may have effected what I read and understood.
                Firstly though, because it’s been made relevant, that thing about the willing suspension of disbelief.
                On Eastenders this week, Ben Mitchell will be identified as the murderer of Heather Trott.
                The resisdants of Albert Square will then hold a seance where they summon a demon who will rise from the depths and devour him. Some of that will actually happen, some of it definitely won’t because the willing suspension of disbelief is a mechanism based on established expectation and not something that the writer can employ to do whatever they want. If the audience fail to suspend their disbelief it’s not their fault as the process is supposedly automatic. I didn’t directly comment on the failings of a WAM cafe business model as I still don’t know that it’s relevant to my feeling. However, relevant to this, when you introduce characters that are meant to be successful business women there is an automatic expectation that they know the difference between good and bad business models. Relevant to this point, not necessarily relevant to my initial response.
                Summer School, as mentioned is not the same, it’s a huge exercise in characterization it doesn’t matter if it work work in reality or not as if anyone actually set one up, we’d simply have to decry the fact that we didn’t get to see what happened in does.
                Suzi’s Slop Drop, in the story, is a TV show. It has an audience and there is a need to consider the sensitivities of that audience, they are there to laugh with and somewhat at the girls who are volunteering and to celebrate their decision to share their indignity for their entertainment. They are not there, hopefully, to ogle, leer or jeer at them in their misfortune.
                In summery, I may be being insane optimistic but I have read everyone of these stories thus far published and they always seemed to meet that expectation, they were warm witty, intelligent and reassuringly sophisticated even in their most mischievous, “meanest” moments. And one of the things that helped that was that they were wonderfully easy to read and flowed incredibly well
                This, by comparison, I found to be infantile, vulgar and borderline brutal and somehow it seems less sophisticated than all it’s predecessors and that I found a touch disappointing.
                However, I going to read it again in case it looks better in my healthier mind.
                I am also going to read the next one afterwards so I can see the in the united context to see if that gives reasons for what happen here.
                And I’m going to hope that somewhere on this journey my opinion will be altered but I want my opinion to be altered because up to this point I have adored these stories uniformly and this is a very anomalous blip.
                I’m only posting this now so my current position can, hopefully, be better understood before it changes.
                I also wish I could find a more concise way of writing these because I think they look worse by being longer then they probably need.


                • VanillaXSlime says:

                  I think you’re overthinking your opinions on something which is basically fetish smut. Not that I don’t appreciate feedback, of course, but if you don’t like it then that’s fine. You’re really overdoing it though, as usual.


                  • yuck53 says:

                    Perhaps, but I have had experiences in the past of great things that suddenly hit “slumps”, for want of a better word, and unless you address the areas of difficult pretty sharpish they can stay there or get worse. Of course, this is just my opinion and, yes, rather confused but if I don’t mention it you can’t even consider it.
                    To be positive I will say, I’ve always liked the desert hoppers, that is a fine addition to the story.
                    However on second reading I find myself all the more confused and feel I may have misunderstood certain details, which confuse me.
                    At the top of the story Rosa directs Suzi to Fifi and Natsuki as the gungees for the second part of the show but then you proceed to gunge them in here part 1.
                    You state, though Rosa, that both girls are aware of what’s going happen to them but this awareness seems to diminish somewhat when they are actually faced with it, I suspect performance but it doesn’t feel entirely naturally connected and I’m unsure how to read it and later it is said that “Fifi hated it as much as she was letting on – considerably.” when earlier what she had been letting on that it was ” “Not bad. Though, look at my dress! Il est ruiné!””
                    By the end you’ve actually got her crying which feels really cruel.
                    That’s about three examples of what feels like direct inconsistency and I’d like to learn why, in fact, they are not. What am I meant to be understanding here?


                    • VanillaXSlime says:

                      Spoilers… Certain setbacks need to be dealt with first.


                    • yuck53 says:

                      Hmm, so I need to go off and read part 2 then? I’m struggling to imagine how that could change the way you laid out this part, I hope you’ve done it that will immediately be very impressive. I hope this post comes out the site appears like it may be playing up for me at present.


        • TellyGunge says:

          Yuck does raise an interesting point in his whinge here: what are people’s views on (a) foreign characters reverting to their mother tongues at choice moments, and (b) phonetic spelling of regional accents? I use both of these devices quite a bit and I’m never quite sure whether they are amusing and enhance the characters, or are just incredibly annoying.

          Yuck is evidently not a fan. Anyone else?


          • VanillaXSlime says:

            As you can see, I don’t mind it. Personally I don’t think I used words/phrases that were hard to understand – most of them were fairly close to their English counterparts and those that weren’t could easily be figured out from context.

            Besides, she was doing it to be annoying anyway. Clearly it worked.


  3. wamtoaster says:

    No no, this is good. The broken English was humorous, but may I ask what ‘ce qui ne va pas avec toi’ means? From what I understand it’s ‘that which doesn’t go with you’


    • VanillaXSlime says:

      It’s supposedly “what’s wrong with you?”. My French is pretty crappy though, so I relied on Google Translate. That explains mistakes on my end. Let’s just chalk it up to Fifi being rather childish.


  4. VanillaXSlime says:

    Yuck: Part 2 might give you a clue or two, but it won’t explain everything. Unfortunately I won’t be able to write much for over a week, but after that I’ll make everything fall into place.


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