Top of the Slops Episode 1 Part 3

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Part three soon rolled around and, cleaned up and with another fresh set of clothes, the two teams were back on the stage with Hayley. This time everyone had their trainers on apart from Taylor, who decided to stay barefoot. “Welcome to part three of Top of the Slops. So far the red team are ahead of the blues by 20 points, but there are still two games to play. So let’s start one now and head for the Obstacle Zone.”


The doors at the back of the stage opened up, revealing a large obstacle course. It was moved in very slowly. “It’s a little known fact that before this was a TV studio, there used to be a great cake factory churning out all kinds of delicious little treats. The executives decided to convert some of the leftover factory into a rudimentary assault course. At least, that’s our excuse for having a large cake-themed course,” Johnathan said, completely straight. “Hayley, I believe I saw you trying these obstacles out earlier. Who wants to see some highlights?”

Hayley feigned annoyance with Johnathan. “Nobody does!” she snapped, despite the cheering from the crowd and the contestants.

“That’s not the impression I’m getting. Run the tape!” he smirked.


On large screens, the video of Hayley running the course was shown. “The first obstacle,” Johnathan narrated, “is the Tipping Table. Basically a spring-loaded platform, the harder you run across it, the more it bounces and wobbles as we’re about to see.” As he said this, video of Hayley running over the table showed. She was barefoot and struggling to keep her balance as she slipped off into the pit of whipped cream that the obstacle course was built over. In the studio, everyone was laughing at Hayley’s failed attempt at getting over the table.

“Next are the Cake Trays.” Three round platforms were attached to spinning piece of padded metal, vaguely resembling some kind of fan or propeller. “Contestants must hop onto one of the trays and stay on them until they reach the other side,” Johnathan explained as in the video, Hayley hopped onto one of the trays and crouched. She didn’t fall in this time, staying out of the cream.

Video-Hayley moved onto the next obstacle. “Next is the Bouncy Bridge. Again, you can’t rush this…” he started as Hayley ran towards it. It reacted against her hard footsteps, sending her sliding into the cream again. “Otherwise, that will happen.”

“Our fourth obstacle has more spinning. These are the Whirling Wheels. You will have to cross these three spinning platforms very quickly, otherwise you could very well end up in the cream again. The first one turns clockwise, the second anti-clockwise and the third clockwise again, but slightly faster than the other two,” he explained. Hayley ran over the Whirling Wheels very quickly, falling on her backside afterwards. Thankfully everything was padded so she didn’t hurt herself, though she still felt silly both in the video and back in the studio.

In the video, Hayley was wiping her hands down on her t-shirt. “Next is a playground classic: the monkey bars. Very simple – swing without falling off.” The monkey bars in the video were just high enough so that Hayley wasn’t touching the cream as she swung. This wouldn’t necessarily be the case for some of the taller competitors – something which worried Simone a little bit. Hayley swung across the bars and up to the final obstacle.

“This is the final one obstacle: Frost Mountain.” A steep, inflatable hill loomed in front of Hayley. There were little notches for her to place her hands and feet in and she was soon climbing. As she ascended the hill, jets of frosting started spitting from the sides occasionally. Very soon she was at the top, which was where a button was located. “Simply press the button at the end to win and send your opponent’s teammate into some very nasty cold custard. After that, the opposing team has 15 seconds to get as far as they can. Scores are 10 points for every obstacle cleared, plus another 20 for finishing and a further 20 for finishing first.”


Hayley sighed. “By the way, you can only move onto the next obstacle once every player has completed the previous one. Otherwise it won’t count,” she added. “So who’s going to face the dunking this time, blue team?”

Ke$ha raised her hand. “I kinda wanna go in the custard. So whatever happens, I’ll be happy.”

“Red team?” Hayley said as she turned to them.

Cristina and Simone looked to the two blondes in their team. Maria eventually volunteered. “Yeah, I’ll do it,” she said with a relaxed demeanour.

“Cool. Ke$ha and Maria, take off your shoes and go to the dunk tanks. Everyone else get ready to take on the Obstacle Zone.” Once everyone was in position, Hayley counted the game in. “3! 2! 1! Go!”


Each set of obstacles had been duplicated so that the red and blue teams each had their own set to try and conquer. The red team were on the left side course and approached the tipping table cautiously, crawling and spreading their weight so they wouldn’t be thrown in. The blue team’s approach was much simpler – they walking slowly in synch with each other so that their movements would keep the table balanced. However it wasn’t really working as Taylor was shaken off the right-hand side of the table, dragging Jessie with her. Jessie landed on top of Taylor and the two rolled in the cream to try and get themselves free of each other. Nicola had also fallen over but was still on the table. The three of them returned to the start and moved a bit more carefully, successfully navigating the table.

They were already behind, however. Cristina had already walked onto her cake tray and was trying to balance on it, crouched over. She was safely over as was Simone but Angela wasn’t able to keep her balance and fell backwards into the cream. After a second attempt she was through, with the blue team right behind them.

Next was the Bouncy Bridge, which Cristina took slowly and carefully in order to avoid shaking it. Angela helped out by holding it steady, before following behind as Simone and Cristina held it in place. Finally Simone started to cross but was a little nervous, which caused her to slip and fall on her behind, coating her legs and lower body with cream. She climbed out and wiped the soles of her shoes down before trying again. As had been the case so far, it was on the second attempt that she got past the bridge.

The blue team were trying a variation on the red team’s idea. Jessie didn’t even start to cross the bridge. Instead she took her shoes off and walked straight into the cream, placing her shoes on the other side of the bridge for her to collect later. She then sat under the bridge and held it in the middle for Taylor and Nicola to cross. Once they were over she slithered over herself which while a little slow, meant she didn’t waste time with falling off and restarting. Once over the bridge she wiped some of the cream away and put her shoes back on.

Meanwhile the red team were making decent progress with the Whirling Wheels. Angela had basically sprinted straight over them and Simone had no problem with the first two wheels, but mis-stepped on the third and fell back into the middle of the cream pit, followed by Cristina who tripped after the first wheel. They quickly returned to the start of the wheel section and tried again, again falling at the third wheel. The blue team soon followed them into the cream pit as all three were thrown in by their second wheel. All five of the cream-covered women waded through and tried crossing again. The red team were finally successful but the blues ended up in the cream again. By now they were more amused than annoyed, though.

At the monkey bars, Cristina was making her way across and doing very well. Simone was following right behind, though a little worried as her feet were just touching the cream. Cristina made it across followed by Simone. Finally Angela had an attempt but misjudged the gap between the bars and bombed into the cream. She climbed out and tried again, having a better idea of the position of the bars this time. Just in time too as the blue team were right behind her and didn’t have the trouble she had.

At the bottom of the Frost Mountain, Cristina kicked her shoes off and suggested to Angela and Simone to do so as well in order to better grip the slope. The red team then began to scale the slope – Cristina first, then Angela and finally Simone. The frosting pelted them relentlessly, causing Simone to laugh a little as it brushed against her sole. Cristina was already at the top when the blue team started to make their way up the slope. She gave Angela a hand up just as Nicola reached the top. Simone and Taylor both reached the top at the same time, so the red team were finally ready to press the large red button and win the game. A countdown from 15 appeared on the screens that Hayley’s demonstration played on earlier. Jessie reached the top just as it reached 6.

Ke$ha looked down at the custard that awaited her with anticipation. It was no secret that she wanted to end up in the custard, after all. She was thrown forwards, straight through the skin which had formed on the top. She disappeared under for a second before rising out, raising her arms and looking upwards. She licked her lips as a large blob of strawberry jam was dumped on her from above, which she enthusiastically rubbed into her hair and onto her body.


The two teams slid down the slopes and joined Hayley at the bottom. “Wow! You guys got covered!” she laughed. “So red team, congratulations on your second win in a row. You’re really turning things around, huh?”

Cristina nodded. “It’s going a lot better now. I’m glad that two of the other team have taken a dunking now, especially since I got the first one.”

“And blue team, you’re now 50 points behind. Think you can take this back?”

“I have faith in these girls,” Nicola smiled. Jessie and Taylor gave off a nervous chuckle. “I won’t be getting dunked in the next game, right Angela?”

Angela shrugged. “Even if your team win the next game, they need to score at least 60 points higher than my team does. I’m really not worried.”

“She’s got a good point, Nicola. There’s also a far nastier slimy fate awaiting the entire losing team than we’ve seen so far, too,” Hayley said, teasing everyone as she talked. “So with the reds on on 270 and the blues on 220, join us in a few minutes to see which team will be the first one ever to find out what sloppy punishment awaits the losing team. I can’t wait!”



About VanillaXSlime

So I'm a WAM author (Suzi's Slop Drop, The Kayotics, The A-Z of Gunge II, Goo Your Own Way, miscellaneous other stuff), the administrator of, a fan of metal, punk and gothic music, an occasional cosplayer and bassist. Twitter: ECG: UMD:
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4 Responses to Top of the Slops Episode 1 Part 3

  1. TellyGunge says:

    Great instalment! Very Wipeoutesque.


  2. wamwamwam123 says:

    This is quickly becoming one of my favourite WAM story series ever 🙂
    And Hayley finally got messy! 🙂

    Keep up the amazingly good work!


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