Gunge Grand Prix: Round 4 Results, Round 5 Live!

Hi All,

Round 4 of the 2016 Gunge Grand Prix is now complete, and you can view the results on the attached spreadsheet. This was by far our most popular round so far in terms of the number of votes so thank you very much for your support.

Round 5 is now live, with just 32 now left in the running. Voting will close around 11am next Friday so get voting for your favourite now!

Gunge Grand Prix 2016

Posted in Stories | Leave a comment

h&n kitchen

imageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimageimage

Posted in Stories | 3 Comments

Gunge Grand Prix – 3rd Round Results and 4th Round now live!

Evening all,

Please find attached below the latest spreadsheet with all the results from the 3rd Round of the 2016 Gunge Grand Prix.

Just 64 ladies now remain in the running and I can confirm that voting for Round 4 is now….OPEN!

You have until next Tuesday to get your votes in so head over to the Gunge Grand Prix 2016 page right now!

Gunge Grand Prix 2016

The votes this round are:

Alyson Hannigan v Julie Bowen
Anna Kendrick v Karen Gillan
Caity Lotz v Chloe Bennet
Charli XCX v Isobel Hodgins
Chloe Moretz v Jorige Porter
Christine Bleakley v Zoella
Cobie Smulders v Caroline Flack
Daisy Ridley v Ariana Grande
Debby Ryan v Tina O’Brien
Demi Lovato v Becky Lynch
Elizabeth Gillies v Georgia May Foote
Elizabeth Olsen v Sian Welby
Emily Browning v Zooey Deschanel
Emma Stone v Victoria Justice
Emma Watson v Danielle Panabaker
Gal Gadot v Taylor Swift
Holliday Grainger v Peyton Royce
Jacqueline Jossa v Selena Gomez
Jade Thirlwall v Brooke Vincent
Lana v Laura Trott
Mary Elizabeth Winstead v Jenna Louise Coleman
Mollie King v Dakota Fanning
Myleene Klass v Charley Webb
Natalie Sawyer v Gemma Atkinson
Nina Nesbitt v Scarlett Johansson
Perrie Edwards v Christina Hendricks
Pixie Lott v Lorde
Rose Leslie v Anne Hathaway
Sophie Turner v Bella Thorne
Summer Glau v Jesy Nelson
Vicky Pattison v Kirsten Dunst
Zara Larsson v Fiona Wade

Posted in Stories | 1 Comment

Gungement Time – Episode 2 Introduction

Although this story mentions real persons and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned.

In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

The second show of the season started with slow-mo replays of the previous week’s forfeits: Brittany screaming as she was doused in freezing water and cream splattering everywhere as the pies hit Kayla’s body.

Zara Holland entered the set wearing a simple pale pink dress.

The-Jump-464700

Zara: Hello! Hello! Welcome to Gungement Time – what Britain’s Got Talent would be if it had any balls!   We’ve got two more eager contestants desperate to impress with their skills and to help decide their fate we have our judges!

 

Carl Orff’s “O Fortuna” played as the camera swept down the judges’ desk.

 

Zara: Please give a big hand to Vicky Brown, Richie999, Jimmy B and Alicia DuBois.

 

The audience cheered the first three names and booed the last – Alicia had gained an unpleasant reputation after only one episode.

 

Zara: But they don’t hold all the power, our studio audience also gets to vote.

 

The audience cheered.

 

Zara: And remember, the worse their combined score, the worse the forfeit they receive at the end of the show. Last week Brittany from Cheshire had to face our infamous tunnel of gunge and Kayla from Glasgow was tied and pied topless – will this weeks contestants do any better? Let’s meet them. Please give it up for Lauren!

 

A bubbly blonde in a white t-shirt and short jogged onto the stage, smiling.

Lauren

Zara: So tell us about yourself.

 

Lauren: I’m 26, I live in Cambridge and I work in a salon.

 

Zara: And what are you going to be showing us today?

 

Lauren: I’ve always been into circus skills so today I’ll be doing some juggling.

 

Zara: Nice. Thank you Lauren. And a big hand for our second contestant: Jessica!

Jessica

Another woman walked on.   This one was taller, with nicely-styled platinum blonde hair. She was wearing a black t-shirt and shorts.

 

Zara: Hi, Jess. Where are you from?

 

Jessica: I live in South London and I’m a beauty therapist.

 

Zara: And your talent is?

 

Jessica: I’m actually a local Pole Sport champion so that’s what I’ll be doing today.

 

Zara: Pole Sport? That’s pole dancing isn’t it? Like a stripper?

 

Jessica: We’re not strippers!   It’s a proper sport like dancing or gymnastics and I’ll be keeping my clothes ON.

 

Zara: That very much depends on what score you get! Anyway, Lauren is going first so take it away.

 

Lauren came out to the sound of an Ellie Goulding song. She worked her way through her routine, juggling with clubs, rings and balls while dancing around the stage. For a finale she grabbed a different set of clubs and set them alight, catching them and the song ended. Lauren bowed as the crowd cheered.

 

Zara: Wow! That was amazing – let’s see what the judges though.

 

Vicky: I don’t normally like juggling but that was great. 4

 

Richie: Nice – artistic and dangerous. Winner. 5

 

Jimmy: Fantastic. 5

 

Alicia: Nothing but a cheap circus act. 1

 

There were cheers for the first three scores and a chorus of boos for the fourth. Alicia was becoming seriously unpopular.

 

Zara: That’s a great score: 15 out of 20 or 75%.

 

Lauren beamed, delighted with her performance.

 

It’s going to be difficult to follow that but off you go Jessica.

 

Jessica grabbed the pole and worked through her repertoire of spins, twists and flicks to the soundtrack of a pounding house beat. She finished by wrapping her legs around the pole and leaning backwards toward the audience.

 

Zara: Well I liked it but it’s not up to me. Over to the judges.

 

Vicky: You’re absolutely right, it’s not pole dancing, you’re a proper sportswoman and that was great. 4.

 

Richie: I’m not impressed, I’ve seen much better pole dances. There was this girl in Hamburg I saw once who…

 

The director frantically waved to get Richie back on track.

 

Richie: Oh, yeah. Seen better. 1.

 

Jimmy: I know you say it isn’t pole dancing but… I can’t give it more than a 2.

 

Alicia: Just like a cheap hooker. 1.

 

Jessica looked furious at the scores and the comments. How dare they demean her sport!

 

Zara: Bad luck!   You’ve scored 8.

 

Jessica stormed off the stage, bright red and muttering under her breath.

 

Zara: Now it’s up to the studio audience – do you agree that Lauren’s juggling was fantastic or did you think the judges were really harsh when they called Jessica a cheap hooker?   Vote to save your fave.

 

Posted in Stories | 8 Comments

Gungement Time – Episode 1 Punishments

Although this story mentions real persons and places, it is purely a work of fiction for personal enjoyment. The story does NOT describe real events and should NOT be taken to accurately portray any real entity mentioned.

In keeping with its fictional nature, the events and activities described in the story may not be legal, ethical or safe. This site does NOT endorse or recommend their enactment.

 

Zara: Hello and welcome back to Gungement Time.  Lets just remind ourselves where our two contestants before the break.  20 year old Kayla from Glasgow scored 45% with the judges but 19 year old Brittany from Cheshire was in the lead with 55%

Pictures of Kayla and Brittany with their scores flashed up on the board.

Zara: Now it’s time to find out what the final results were, but first let’s see how the forfeit system is going to work.

 

Zara walked across the studio to a large display board.

 

Zara: We have a huge variety of fiendish and imaginative punishments lined up for our contestants, and while the lady with the higher score will be walking away £10 000 richer, she probably won’t be walking away clean. The scores from our judges and the audience are combined to give a final score. This score then tells us what humiliating forfeit the lucky contestant will suffer. For example…

 

A bar chart appeared on the screen, two bright magenta rectangles emblazoned with the faces of Kayla and Brittany. As Zara spoke the bars rose and fell up the scale.

 

Zara: For example, if Kayla were to score 82% she’d face a bucket of custard over her head.

 

Kayla’s bar zoomed up to the top of the graph and flashed up “Bucket of Custard”. The camera showed Kayla looking relieved, almost as if she believed that was the actual result.

 

Zara: Or, if Brittany were to score 48% she’d be taking a dip in our dunk tank.

 

Brittany’s bar stopped in the middle of the graph and flashed “Dunk Tank”.

 

Zara: But that’s not the only part of the forfeit – if contestants don’t get a good score they might be doing the forfeit in their bikini, topless or even naked!

 

The audience cheered

 

Zara: So if Brittany does get 48% she’ll not only be going into our Dunk Tank, she’ll be doing it in her bikini!

 

The camera showed Brittany looking nervous – was this an indication of how the result had gone?   The audience whooped and whistled.

 

Zara: One more thing – as it’s possible both our contestants might end up in the same zone for their forfeit, the loser will get moved down to a worse forfeit.

 

Both Kayla and Brittany looked worried by this announcement.

 

Zara: I can see the audience is desperate to see the mess so lets find out who won.

 

The lights went down, leaving Kayla and Brittany spotlighted in the middle of the set with Zara standing between them.

 

Zara: I can reveal that today’s winner is…. BRITTANY!

 

Brittany threw her hands up and jumped around in celebration. Kayla stood looking dejected.

 

Zara: Brittany, Brittany how do you feel?

 

Brittany: Great! I knew the audience would appreciate my singing!

 

Zara That doesn’t mean you’re escaping a forfeit though – let’s have a look on the screen and see what your score was.

 

Brittany’s expression changed to one of consternation. Her bar shot up to the top of the screen and then began to descend. It went past 90%, then 80%, then 70%. Both Brittany and Kayla looked more and more worried as it ticked down. Finally the bar settled at 56% and two bubbles flashed up: “Tunnel of Gunge” and “Bikini”.

 

Zara: OK – you’ll be doing one of our signature forfeits – the Tunnel of Gunge, and you’ll be doing it in your bikini so take off your t-shirt and shorts.

 

Brittany somewhat reluctantly pulled her t-shirt over her head and dropped her shorts to reveal a black bikini with a tropical plant pattern.

 

Zara: Very nice! Now just come over here and put these on.

 

Zara led Brittany to a curtained off area of the set and handed her a pair of blacked-out swimming goggles so she couldn’t see anything. Once Brittany had put the goggles on the curtain was drawn back to reveal a long Perspex tunnel with various substances in it. Brittany was standing at one end of it and Zara turned her to face the entrance.

 

Zara: Now get on your hands and knees and crawl forward.

 

Brittany cautiously began to crawl and entered the tunnel. Zara began to talk to the audience.

 

Zara: There are a few surprises for our contestants in the Tunnel of Gunge. For example…

 

Zara stood by an opening in the roof of the tunnel. As Brittany slowly crawled past Zara upended a bucket over her head. Brittany squealed as cold tinned spaghetti landed on her and began to slide down he face, her neck and into the small of her back.   Brittany froze in shock.

 

Zara: I’d get a move on Brittany, the longer you take the more mess you receive.

 

Brittany began crawling again, more quickly this time. Unfortunately for her this part of the tunnel started to slope down and was coated with a thin, slippery green slime. As she put her hand on the slope it slid out from under her. Brittany fell onto her front and started to slip down the slimy slope. Her scream was cut off as she careered uncontrollably into a long, shallow puddle of green slime. The slime was splattered all over her face and down the front of her body. The audience cheered as a camera showed a close-up of her shocked face.

 

Brittany resumed crawling.   Suddenly water jets squirted her from all directions, washing away the slime and spaghetti. Brittany froze again and screamed as the freezing water hit her.

 

Zara: Come on Brittany, the jets won’t stop until you’re out of there.

 

Brittany started crawling again, more quickly this time, the streaks of slime and tomato sauce mixing with the water as it dripped off her. As she came to another open section Zara was waiting with another bucket.   As Brittany went past she tipped a thick wave of custard over her, which rolled down her head and back. Brittany had learned her lesson this time and continues crawling. She could sense the tunnel opening out now and was relieved to hear Zara’s voice.

 

Zara: That’s the end now Brittany, you can take the goggles off.

 

Brittany pulled the goggles off, only to be met by a plate of whipped cream wielded by a giggling Zara.   The plate stuck for a few seconds before dropping off to show the cream smeared all over Brittany’s features.

 

Zara: So Brittany, how are you feeling?

 

Brittany: This is disgusting; it’s all slimy and cold. I thought I was the winner!

 

Zara: Just wait to see what we’ve got in store for Kayla, you’ll be glad this is all that’s happening to you.

 

Zara left Brittany, who padded off the set to clean up, dripping water, cream, slime and spaghetti as she went.

 

Zara: So Kayla – you know you got a lower score than Brittany so why don’t you strip down to that lovely bikini now and save us some time.

 

Kayla sighed as she took off her t-shirt and shorts, revealing a toned body with a long, slim pair of legs as well as a white bikini with a similar pattern to Brittany’s. The men of the audience wolf-whistled as she stood there, fidgeting nervously.

 

Zara: Excellent, now lets find out Kayla’s forfeit.

 

Kayla’s magenta descended past Brittany’s, then past the 50% marker and finally stopped at 44%. Two bubbles flashed up again, the first one saying “Tied and Pied”. It was the contents of the second bubble that caused the audience to whoops and cheer though – where it had read “Bikini” for Brittany, for Kayla it said “Topless”

 

Zara: Oh dear Kayla! You were only a couple of percent below the boundary but that means you’re being tied and pied and you’re doing it topless!   Let’s have that top off then.

 

Kayla looked mortified as she wrapped one arm around her chest as the other fiddled with the tie of her bikini top.

 

Zara: Hurry up! IF you don’t get it done in time one of our security team will have to ‘help’ you.

 

The camera focused on a group of solidly built young women dressed in practical black t-shirts and cargo trousers with baseball caps pulled low over their faces.

 

Kayla fumbled with more urgency and finally managed to free the top. She dropped it on the floor and stood waiting, with both hands clamped over her breasts.

 

Zara: Thank you. And now ladies…

 

Two members of the security team took Kayla by the arm and led her to a pole standing upright in the studio.   As they reached the pole the security guards pulled Kayla’s arms behind her back and secured them to the pole, leaving her standing upright, her perky breasts standing proud.

 

Zara: I’m sorry, but it did say tied and pied. Would our judges like to start the honours?

 

Vicky approached Kayla with a big plate full of cream.

 

Vicky: Sorry pet, but you were the loser.

 

She gently pushed the pie into Kayla’s face. The paper plate dropped off, showing the young Glaswegian’s face totally covered in mess.

 

The other judges approached.   Richie slammed two pie on either side of her head, splattering cream everywhere and Jimmy played up to the crowd by asking what he should do with his pie, before finally dropping it on her head where it sat for a moment before sliding off, leaving a trail of cream down her body.

 

Next Alicia approached with an extra-large pie and a malicious glint in her eye. She eyed up Kayla’s vulnerable body before grinding it into Kayla’s crotch. Kayla squirmed at the feeling and Alicia walked off, a smirk of triumph on her face.   Kayla’s ordeal wasn’t over though, the security team wheeled on a huge trolley and launched a barrage of pies which splattered all over Kayla’s exposed body. The hail of creamy desserts finally subsided, leaving Kayla plastered head to toe in white muck.

 

Zara: Wow, that was a dramatic forfeit! How are you feeling Kayla?

 

Kayla: It’s disgusting!

 

Zara: Well it’s nearly over.

 

Kayla: Nearly?

 

Zara grabbed one more pie and slapped it into Kayla’s face.

 

Zara: It is now. Join us next week when two more contestants will face Gungement Time!

 

The credits rolled as the camera showed Kayla being released from the poll, dripping cream all over the set.

Posted in Stories | 4 Comments