[Author's Note: Here's the follow-up to my first story attempt. I took the feedback from the previous story on board, so there's no male WAM in this one ;) As this is the second story I've written in two weeks, I'm feeling a bit creatively burnt out so don't be too disappointed if I take a bit longer to get around to writing a third! Anyway, I'll shut up now. Enjoy the story!]
The ‘Jake Perry Show’ was a talk show with a difference. Jake, a stand-up comedian and former radio shock jock, would interview his guests to start, but the second part of the show involved them taking part in some sort of off-the-wall challenge or activity to shake up the stale ‘host fawns over guest’ format that had killed many similar shows. Of particular note is the episode that aired on Saturday 14th March 2015, with ‘Game of Thrones’ actresses Natalie Dormer & Sophie Turner as the featured guests.
Beautiful blonde Natalie was wearing a very low-cut stripy dress with a flesh-colored slip underneath to preserve her modesty. Redheaded Sophie had on a black crop top, displaying her midriff, with a pair of very tight red and white trousers. While interviewing the pair, Jake referred to the grim nature of their show several times. He made a number of oft-repeated jokes about the high number of deaths that occurred and suggested that the two might like to experience some comedy to balance out all of the tragedy.
“That would be nice, but if you’re the one making the jokes we’re not likely to have much luck with that!” Natalie replied with a smirk as Sophie giggled and the audience cheered their approval.
Jake pretended not to have heard this remark or the reaction and continued, “Well, I’ve arranged a special stand-up comedy class for you two to take when we come back from the break.”
“That sounds like fun.” Sophie responded with an earnest smile as the audience applauded.
When the show returned from commercial, Jake stood alone on the stage and gave a conspiratorial wink to the camera. “Natalie & Sophie are backstage getting ready for the comedy class that we’ve prepared for them, but what they don’t know is that the class has nothing to do with stand-up comedy and everything to do with slapstick comedy!” he winked again and made a shushing gesture to camera as the actresses rejoined him. Both were now barefoot as the production assistants had suggested they take of their shoes, which had seemed slightly suspicious but hadn’t caused either girl to realize what they were about to walk into.
“Okay ladies, you look ready to learn so allow me to leave you in the hands of a very capable teacher…”
Jake stepped off to the side as loud circus music piped through the studio and a short fat clown with a red wig, red nose and thick makeup bounded onto the stage and ran forward to shake the hands of each person sitting in the front row of the audience. “Hello Boys & Girls! I am Sloppo the Clown and it seems that Mr. Perry has been kind enough to provide me with two new, very lovely assistants for this performance.” Natalie had a crooked grin on her face, but Sophie looked equally confused and nervous as Sloppo turned towards them. “Good evening ladies! I’m here on behalf of The Amazing Barden Brothers Circus (tickets now available online) to teach you the basics of slapstick comedy. Are you excited?”
Natalie grinned enthusiastically and said, “Yes!” while Sophie’s silence spoke for itself.
Sloppo approached Sophie, “Well dear, you seem a bit nervous but there’s nothing to fear. I’ve brought my star pupil along to help you learn the ropes. We’ll start with pie-throwing” He clicked his fingers impatiently, “Boppo! Bring me my bag of tricks!”
A second, lankier clown with green hair emerged from the wings wheeling a covered cart that displayed the logo and website information of The Amazing Barden Brothers Circus along the side. Sloppo dashed over to the cart, opened up the top and began rummaging through. He sent an assortment of props flying across the stage including a rubber chicken, an over-sized mallet and a banana skin before emerging with a thick custard pie in hand. He approached Sophie who scrunched her face up in nervous anticipation, only to find when she opened them that Sloppo was in fact trying to hand it to her.
“*Ahem* in your own time, dear.”
Sophie sheepishly took the pie from Sloppo who turned her around to face Boppo who had gotten into position beside Natalie. Sloppo adjusted Sophie’s arm until her pie was aimed squarely at Boppo’s face. “Now, swing it with some force and let it fly.” Sloppo instructed.
As Sophie threw the pie, Boppo took half a step forward and “accidentally” slipped on the banana skin that Sloppo had thrown earlier, toppling onto the floor as the pie sailed past where he had been standing. Sophie could only raise her eyebrows in horror as it continued until it connected with Natalie’s face and burst over her head and hair with a splat. As the pie tin clattered to the floor, Natalie cleared her eyes and began to laugh at Sophie’s shocked expression.
“You silly fool!” cried Sloppo, clipping Boppo hard across the ear as he got to his feet. “Look at poor Natalie, it’s all over her beautiful face.” He began dabbing at her cheeks with a flowery hanky before she batted him away.
“I think it’s my turn now” she said with a devilish grin, walking over to Sloppo’s cart and gathering two custard pies from within.
“Oi! Only I’m allowed in there!” cried Sloppo.
“Shut up or you get the next one!” said Natalie, sticking her tongue out at him. She rounded on shell-shocked Sophie who still hadn’t moved much since her pie throw and seemed all too aware of what might be about to happen. “Fair’s fair, Soph.” She said before smushing the two pies on either side of Sophie’s head with a movement akin to a cymbal clap. Filling exploded over Sophie’s red hair and face as the pies engulfed her. Natalie ran her finger down Sophie’s cheek, picking up plenty of custard filing in the process, and then licked it clean with a satisfied smile.
It took Sophie a few seconds to regain her senses, but when she did she found that she no longer felt guilty for accidentally pieing Natalie. In fact, she felt a little short changed since her head and hair were utterly coated with custard cream while Natalie only had a smattering over her face and fringe.
“*Ahem* It looks like the two of you have mastered pie throwing and splattering far quicker than I expected.” Sloppo said with a proud smile, “You might ever take Boppo’s place as my star pupils!” The taller clown put his hands on his head and looked down in response. “Let’s move on, shall we?” He returned to his bag and pulled out a bright blue bowler derby hat.
“This is an absolute classic, the shaving cream hat. Allow me to demonstrate its usage on Boppo…”
“…actually, Sloppo, I think it looks more like Natalie’s color,” insisted Sophie as she wrested it from Sloppo’s hand and walked over to her co-star with a wicked glint in her eye.
Defiant to the last, Natalie put her hands on her hips. “Let me try it on then.”
Sophie carefully lifted the foam-filled hat over Natalie’s blonde tresses, before upending it and pulling down right over her eyes as the cream spewed out of a hole in the top in a little geyser before dropping back down to land on Natalie’s shoulders and feet. Sophie twisted the hat around a bit before allowing Natalie to lift it off and admire her creamy new hairdo. The audience were going wild.
“You got the hang of that pretty quickly so I’ll move on to my personal favourite slapstick gag, filling your unfortunate stooge’s britches with custard. He lifted a heavy bucket out of his cart and advanced on Boppo, reaching for the elasticated waistband of his brightly colored pants.
“You know what Sloppo, I’ve got a much better stooge in mind for that custard.” Natalie had lifted the bucket from his hands before he could even object.
“Wait Natalie! The pies were bad enough… but that’s going too far! I don’t have any spare clothes with me!” Sophie pleaded as she backed away but Natalie pursued her with determination.
“I’m sure the wardrobe department can lend you some, now hold your trousers open or I’ll dunk your head in the bucket!”
Sophie knew that she was serious and could tell from the audience chanting that they wanted to see it too, so she gave in with a deep sigh. “I’m going to get you back for this,” she hissed as she hooked her thumb into her waistband and pulled her trousers forward enough to make room for the lip of the bucket.
“I don’t doubt it,” smiled Natalie, “Deep breath now. This is going to be cold.” She wasn’t kind enough to start slowly but lifted the bucket abruptly so that the custard surged into Sophie’s trousers leading the younger girl to gasp and squeal in discomfort as it soaked her panties, thighs and legs before oozing out the bottom of the leggings onto her bare feet. It was cold, it was gross and yet Sophie couldn’t deny that it was stimulating on some bizarre level. The audience certainly seemed to find it amusing and the clowns were thrilled.
“You’ve put Boppo to shame so far, ladies!” Sloppo said as he applauded the messy actresses. The taller clown had already removed a large novelty fire extinguisher filled with foam from the cart and was bringing it to Sloppo when he tripped again on the banana skin. The extinguisher rolled over to Sophie who snatched it up—feeling custard sloshing around her lower body as she bent forward—and grabbed Natalie’s shoulder.
“You’d better hope the wardrobe department have some clothes in your size, Nat.” She said as she pushed the extinguisher nozzle against Natalie’s cleavage and held down the trigger. Natalie’s eyes bulged wide as the sticky, pressurized foam flooded over her breasts and inside her slip. The tightness of the slip pressed it against her and helped to ensure the foam invaded most of her body. She squirmed and gave a gentle moan as the foam caressed her.
When the extinguisher was empty, Sophie pulled it aside and gave her friend a big hug, which was really just a ruse to squish the foam around some more. Natalie responded in kind with a cheeky pat to Sophie’s crotch, which pressed more custard into her underwear.
Once the girls disentangled from each other, Sloppo seemed at a loss for words. “Well ladies, I’m proud to say that you are the quickest learners I’ve ever seen. Perhaps you have slapstick in your genes!”
“I’m not sure about that, but I definitely have custard in my trousers!” retorted Sophie to appreciative audience laughter.
“Well, whatever the case, I think Boppo & I will honor you with an Amazing Barden Brothers Circus trademark: The twenty-one bucket salute! You’re about to pass this class with flying colors!”
Both girls had a good idea what this would entail, but neither made any attempt to flee as half a dozen more clowns of all shapes and sizes emerged from the wings carrying plastic buckets, each filled to the brim with a different colored cake batter. There was just enough time for them to link arms and yell, “bring it on!” before the deluge began.
Blue. Red. Yellow. Green. Purple. Pink. Orange. A veritable rainbow of goo—twenty-one bucket’s worth in total—splashed over the pair as they laughed hysterically, scooping up handfuls from the floor and rubbing it into each others bodies. Natalie scooped a large handful into the back of Sophie’s trousers, to which she retaliated by stuffing some down the back of Natalie’s dress. Eventually the slime stopped flying and the two girls collapsed to the floor play wrestling in the slop, trying with increasing difficulty to find clean areas on each other’s bodies to cover. Both were plastered head-to-toe so that it was hard to tell who was who. Natalie took particular delight in lightly tickling Sophie’s exposed stomach, as the younger girl writhed and wriggled at her touch.
It was such a sight to behold that the camera lingered on them for a good minute before Jake Perry reluctantly stepped in to close the show. “My sincerest thanks to Sloppo, Boppo and all of the clowns from the Amazing Barden Brothers Circus for joining us tonight and a huge, huge round of applause for my guests Sophie Turner & Natalie Dormer for being such great sports.”
The girls had stopped wrestling and Natalie struggled to her feet before extending an arm to Sophie to help her up. The two took a little bow before heading backstage to clean up as Jake delivered his closing monologue to the audience.
“Now, that was fun,” said Sophie as she caught her breath, “I can’t believe I was so nervous before.” She could feel custard, cream, slime and who knows what else in just about every crevice of her body, yet she felt incredible.
“You’d be surprise what you enjoy when you’re willing to try it,” Natalie replied, her devilish smile showing through the goop covering her face. “Speaking of which, the shower in my dressing room is pretty spacious if you want some help cleaning up…”
“Lead the way.” smiled Sophie.